Shinsei Eiki
by LookOutShe'sGotAPen
Summary: Rei, the Horse of the Zodiac, is forced to give up everything for her little brother to save him from Akito, despite the fact her brother hates her. But after an accident leaves her blind, who will she turn to for help? HaruxOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Yay! A new story! Been forever since I started a new FB story! **

**I'm really looking forward to writing this- it's been dancing around my head for so long, I can't even tell you. It's a huge relief to finally get it down ^.^**

**So love it, hate it, it's your choice- but please review when you're done! :D**

**LOSGAP =D**

Rei. It's an interesting name, when you really think about it.

It has two meanings. One is "zero; worthless, nothing." That's what Akito tells me I was named for. But there's another meaning. "Spirit."

I try to tell myself that's what I was named for, but after almost seventeen years of being told you're nothing, you start to believe it.

And I am nothing. I turned a blind eye to a small child's suffering, even though I was only a year older then him at the time- but I didn't lift a finger to help. This makes me just as guilty as the others who stood back and let it happen. To both of us. But I could have stopped if, if I had only tried.

Yuki is so innocent… so pure of heart, as white and pure as snow, his namesake, and yet he is scarred. And I was powerless to stop it.

But not anymore. I refuse to let myself step back and let the Rat be torn apart like that.

Yuki never found out why Akito let him go so willingly; why suddenly he was out of the dark and into the light. He got to live with cousin Shigure in his house- he was lucky. He had escaped; I had torn his chains from the ground and set him free.

But I had paid a price for his freedom.

In return for Yuki being set free, I was to be Akito's pet. To do whatever he wished, cart him around, be his errand girl and toy. All so Yuki will not be touched by him again.

I suppose it is because I am the Horse. Akito says he loves my spirit, but I think he loved the challenge of breaking it. He became fascinated with me- the little girl, so small in stature, who refused to bow and openly defied his orders. The only one of us with a spine.

But not anymore. Now I must bow my head and let him run his fingers through my hair, sit with him for hours and hours in his dark room, waiting on his every need.

And I'm OK with that. I'll stay in the shadows forever so Yuki may have a glimpse of the sky.

OoO

I sit next to Akito, my eyes constantly straying to the window. I want to see the sky through human eyes, for once. Akito hasn't been feeling well today- he'll want to go for a ride, and I will oblige with the humiliating task that boils my blood and grinds my teeth.

"I need some fresh air." Akito rasps and I nod, getting up. "I'll have the cart prepared." I say, bowing to him and hurrying out of the room. The faster, the better. Do I _want _another beating?

"Time to go, Rei-san?" A maid asks when I tell her to prepare the cart. I nod and she grimaces, her eyes saying, "Oh you poor thing." before she runs away.

I sigh and close my eyes, reaching for that part of me, the part of me that holds more power then you could ever imagine, more strength and speed and beauty then God intended for humans to have.

I had discovered how to turn into my Zodiac form when I was a small child. Akito saw my form once and decided he liked it better then my human form- he locked me in a room similar to Yuki's and ordered me to stay until I figured out how to stay in my form.

It took a month in the dark but I finally discovered how to set the animal part of me free.

A pink explosion; a sensation of stretching, and suddenly I am taller. I look down and sigh. I used to take such pleasure in my form- loving the sensation of running, of the muscles stretching and coiling, but now it fills me with dread.

My gleaming chestnut coat burns red in the cold winter sun as I make my way to the where the cart is ready for me to be harnessed; I back up, lowering my elegantly sculpted head and accepting the bit, my small Arabian like form scrunching and slouching to fit the cart horse look as I let the maid harness me, strapping me firmly to the cart, a prison on wheels.

I paw the ground with my fore leg, devoid of all white as are the rest of my legs. My only white marking is a white star in the center of my forehead that gleams brilliantly in the sun, if I don't let my forelock cover it.

I see Akito coming, slowly as usual, and arch my neck, lifting my tail and trying to look regal. One had to look worthy of Akito if one wished to escape his grasp unscathed.

"Hello, my pet." Akito says, running his hand along my side as he makes his way to the cart. I shiver at his touch, and he takes this as pleasure, but I am disgusted and want to run away. But I can't; I'm tethered to him, literally for once.

Akito pretends to drive, but all he really does is lounge in the open cart and whip me, hauling on my reins if I mess up, or God forbid, _look _at someone.

I lean into the harness and wince slightly as I pull the cart forward. It is light, but Arabians are not carriage horses and never will be. My frame is too small; my bones are light and thin, like a bird's. But at least birds can fly, while my wings are clipped.

"Faster." Akito ordered, the whip cutting into my croup. I don't bother flinching. It's a "love pat" from Akito. I lean into the harness and hurry off, wondering where we are going.

OoO

"Stop." Akito ordered as we come to a high school. I obey; lowering my head in shame as people stare and point. I hate this; I long to kick myself free and run until the ground disappears and the stars fall from the sky, but instead I stand loosely, one hind leg cocked, my tail lashing at flies from time to time. Each time I hit one I imagine it is Akito.

"Look! Isn't that a beautiful horse?!" I hear one girl say happily. "I've never seen a horse and carriage around here before! How wonderful!" She goes on.

"It's just a horse! Calm down!" My ears go back, recognizing the voice. I turn my head, struggling to see past the blinders. It's him; Kyo in all his glory.

He doesn't recognize me. If he does, he would have been disgusted and turned away. Since everyone knows I am Akito's pet, but no one knows why. They all assume I love him unconditionally and am betraying the entire Zodiac; I am more despised then he is.

The girl standing next to him comes over, looking at me curiously. I prick my ears at her, wanting to appear friendly, but Akito jerks on my reins and I automatically duck my head, staring at the ground.

"Tohru-san, what are you looking at?" My heart threatens to explode and my head flies up; I am so stunned I don't even feel Akito jerking violently on my reins, trying to get my head down. Now I know what Akito wanted. He hadn't wanted to check on Kyo; he had wanted me to see Yuki, to see how he was living so happily while I suffered.

I spot his silver head moving through the crowd towards this Tohru who is standing a few feet away from me. As he approaches, I want to scream and lash out at him, begging him not to come any closer to Akito.

I can't help it; I whinny loudly and strain at the harness, earning myself a lash and a curse from Akito. I know my punishment will be harsh tonight, but Yuki must not get close.

He stops besides Tohru and frowns at me. I whinny again, stomping my front hooves and tossing my head. He blinks, and I see the recognition in my eyes.

"Isn't that a pretty horse?" Tohru asks him. "It's just a horse." Yuki says coldly. "Just a spineless creatures that carries around people because it is too stupid to know the difference between right and wrong." He says, taking Tohru's hand and leading her away with Kyo.

I watch him go, stunned into silence. I knew Yuki hated me, but I had never heard him speak like that about me. He still blamed me. After all this time.

I am too hurt to feel angry; I hang my head, my nose an inch from the ground as I stare at the pavement. He hated me. Why was I giving up everything for a boy who hated me so much?

_Because you love him. _I thought.

I close my eyes and know that nothing Akito can do to me will ever hurt as much as the look in Yuki's eyes as he realized that wasn't just a horse in front of him- it was his sister.

**This is based off the anime, for those of you who didn't catch that. It's kind of a reasonable explanation, no? Yuki hates Ayame- he never mentions him or speaks of him until he forces his way into the picture. He hates Rei and doesn't acknowledge her in any way, and the Horse never comes in the anime. It makes sense to me xD**

**Anyways, this is kind of a pilot chapter- I want to see where this story will lead. Hopefully it'll go place, but one cannot promise! **

**Please review!**

**- LOSGAP =D**

3


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey people! Glad you came back- I forgot to mention in the last chapter, but the title means "True Courage" :) Figured that was useful *laughs***

**Anyways, please review! :D**

**LOSGAP =D**

OoO

If there's one thing I can admire about Akito, it is his thoroughness.

After making sure he whipped me for an hour after trying to save Yuki, he decided this was not a good enough punishment. He led me, fully harnessed and still in horse form to a tree on the outskirts of the property, out of sight of everyone, and tied me to it and left me there.

I am here now, wondering why I put up with this for Yuki. But every time I start to doubt myself, I remember his smile; his true, rare smile, one I have seen so little, and am ready to fight for the death to see it again.

I shiver as I look up at the cloudy sky; it is going to rain tonight, that's for certain. Of course. I know I'm not going to go inside anytime soon, or get any shelter. And that's all right- the rain will wash the scent and feel of my blood away. I can't stand standing in the cold; the harness is stiffening, caked with frozen blood, and is extremely uncomfortable. Normally I'd phase to human form and sneak back, but I know the pain will be unbearable on my thin human skin- besides; I'm in too much pain to phase back easily.

I tug on my bridle and wince as the harness rubs my lashes. Akito managed to get my back thoroughly, even with the straps.

I sigh and lower my head, my ears drooping. I wonder how long I'll be here, and how miserable I'll be tonight. But I don't care, really- I'd go through all this every single night as long as Akito doesn't get his hands on Yuki. It is a futile hope, but maybe one day Yuki will realize what I do for him; maybe he'll smile for me again.

I am consoling myself with this thought when it starts to rain.

I roll my eyes as I shiver, wondering how on Earth it could get any worse. I glare up at the sky, challenging it to try and break me. No one can break the Horse; I am too proud, stubborn even, but unbreakable. I refuse to be tamed.

But the freezing rain is painful as it burns my soon to be scars; I close my eyes, willing it all to just end.

Suddenly the pain on my back lifts slightly; someone has covered my back with a blanket. I turn my head in delight to thank my savior and am doubly pleased when I realize it's a friend.

"Haru!" I exclaim happily, burying my face in his chest. He ruffles my ears, the way he always does, and sighs. "What has he _done _to you?" He breathes, gently touching a gash poking out underneath the blanket. I flinch away from his touch and he moves his hand to my shoulder.

"I saw Yuki; this is my punishment." I shrug, then wince. His eyes widen in surprise. "You saw him? When?" He asks eagerly. I am well aware of his rather strange crush on my brother and try not to be amused.

"Earlier today. We drove by the school; he seemed fine." I said delicately. His eyes hardened. "He recognized you, didn't he?" He asks quietly. I blink hard and look away.

"What did he say?" Haru asks gently, his arm hanging loosely around my neck in a comforting gesture. "That I'm just a stupid spineless creature who doesn't know right from wrong." I said bitterly, his words forever engraved into my mind. Haru flinches as though I had kicked him.

"I'm sorry; he'll come around." He assures me. I doubt this, but am still comforted. I turn my head and press my face against his shoulder, shielding it from the freezing rain that makes me shiver deep to my bones.

"But when?" I croak and he rubs my ears again. "He will. Yuki's got a good heart; he just needs to open his eyes and see what's going on right in front of him." He always manages to compliment Yuki when talking to me- he really loves him. It's admirable, his loyalty, but I still find it a bit disturbing. Haru is my best friend and Yuki is my brother- it was a strange combination.

Haru is the only one besides Hatori and Akito who knows what I do and why. Everyone else lives under the fantasy I just adore Akito. Wasn't it evident in the happy way I pranced along, towing him behind me? Or how I never seem to leave his side?

"Thanks Haru." I said sincerely and he smiles faintly at me before moving over to the tree and beginning to work at the hopeless knots Akito managed to make. Akito has great hand-eye coordination, but is hopeless with simple tasks. I always have to fasten his kimono for him- it is a task that makes my stomach roll, and I usually have to race for the nearest toilet afterwards, but it pleases Akito.

Haru somehow manages to untie me and leads the way to a deeper part of the forest, under thicker trees. I raise my head as I follow him, glad to follow someone of my own free will, and not having to be dragged along by the head.

I keep my head by his shoulder, watching my bridle drag behind me with some satisfaction.

"So what do you want to do? If you go in, he'll see you." Haru frowns. I nod; my room is right beside his chambers. I cannot enter nor exit without him hearing me.

"I'll just stay out here." I reply. "All alone?" Haru questions and I shrug. "No." He says flatly, plopping down and leaning his back against a tree.

"Haru, get back inside. You'll freeze to death." I roll my eyes, standing in front of him. "Nope. If you're out here, I'm out here." He says stubbornly. I roll my eyes again but sink down to the ground next to him, lying on my belly with my side pressing against him, determined to keep the thick-headed boy warm. He is younger then me- my older sister instincts were kicking in again.

Haru is a good friend; when you win his loyalty, you have it for life. He's the type of guy who'll sit with you all night, in the rain, just because he doesn't want you to be lonely. He has a good heart, one of the strongest I've ever seen.

He leans against my side, one arm over the blanket on my back, staring up at the branches above us. We are silent; I'm too happy to not be alone to try and ruin it with conversation.

"I don't know how you do it." Haru says suddenly, and my previous thoughts disappear as I raise my head and fix him with a questioning stare.

"I mean, here you are, whipped, abused, beaten, and the person you're doing this for doesn't give a crap. And you still manage to keep getting back up every morning and do it all over again. And for what?" He demands, and I don't answer. He knows the answer as well as I do.

"How do you do it?" He shakes his head in wonder.

I sigh and lean closer against him, laying my head across his legs. "I don't know." I admit. "I just don't know."

OoO

The next day I wait by the tree, tied to it again, while Haru goes back to the Main House. I'm not sure what he's going for, but I think I have an idea. I hope it's right.

Sure enough, he comes back later, a pleased grin on his face. The rain has stopped, thank goodness, but the ground is icy under my hooves. I nicker a greeting as he comes over.

"Akito has given me permission to take you to go check on Yuki, since he is not well enough apparently." He says.

"Oh good. I take it your bike broke again?" I snort as he unties me easily. "Yes, unfortunately. I have to use other means." He sighs dramatically. I prance in place in anticipation as he takes off my harness and bridle. We do this occasionally; go off on "errands" but really just go for joyrides. Haru knows my wild need to run; he is the only one here who gives me my head and joins me.

Well, normally he joins me. Today he can't; he's too kind to even try to sit on me when my back is so sore. I promise him I'll be fine tonight, which I will; they'll heal enough for me to be able to take his light weight, as long as he doesn't sit like a sack of potatoes.

I hear the bridle hit the ground and nudge his shoulder happily, rearing up and neighing with a wild joy before I plunge forward into a gallop, the ground flying beneath my hooves.

My breath comes in short, quick bursts as I pound the trails; the trees whip by so fast I am certain I'll hit one, but I never will. I weave expertly between them, my stride growing longer, my muscles stretching and coiling as I run.

I toss my head and neigh, reveling in my strength and speed. I slow down when I come to an open field and feel the sun kiss my skin as I leap and buck, play rearing and fighting by myself. I whirl and buck at imaginary enemies, imagining I am bucking off Akito and pounding his sinister face into the dust.

Haru finally catches up and leans against a tree, watching me in amusement as I stomp into the dirt, snorting dust out of my nose before I whirl and charge at nothing, rearing up to scrape my hooves in the air.

"You're going to exhaust yourself." I hear Haru say and I slow, shaking my head and giving one final powerful buck. I don't want to stop, but I trot over to him and rub my face against his chest, breathless with happiness.

"We actually are going to see Yuki though. I have some unfinished business." He says delicately. I prick my ears at him. I know what he's talking about. Yuki and Kyo didn't show up at the Banquet a few weeks ago. I was punished for it, of course- apparently it's my fault Yuki skipped. But Haru wants to fight Kyo; I'm not sure why though. Stupid boys.

"OK." I pant. "Lead the way." I dip my head and extend a foreleg mockingly and he grins, trotting off. "Hey wait! Did you get my clothes?!" I demand and he pauses guiltily. "Of course you didn't." I roll my eyes. I don't mind; I'll heal faster, but it's still annoying he forgets everything.

I follow after him on the trail, wondering where Yuki lives now and how long it'll be before I see him.

OoO

That night I let Haru sit on my back, delicately, for he is unsure of my lashes. I buck a little to assure him it is all right and take off at a mad gallop, my eyes darting around as I check my path. We've got a good clear path ahead of us; no trees to avoid. My eyes stray upwards and lock on the full moon floating above us. I whinny and gallop faster, keeping my gaze fixed on the moon. I know I'll never beat it, but you can't imagine how amazing it feels to run and run with the only thing that can touch you being the wind and moonlight; even they can barely keep up.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Haru asks as I refuse to check my pace, thundering through the moonlit forest. "Chasing the moon." I reply, lengthening my stride as we come to a turn; I skid and nearly wipe out, but catch myself just in time as I turn down the trail.

The moon is now beside me, an ever-present guardian as she watches me, her silver gaze gentle as she floats by my side, guarding me from the terrors of the night.

OoO

"Haru! We've been wandering these woods for three damn days- where are we?!" I demand, stomping a hoof and glaring at him.

"Here." He replies, still moving. I snort in disbelief. "I swear, you have the worst sense of direction of anyone I know." I roll my eyes and come back to his side.

"I'm special." He grins and I bump his shoulder with mine, nearly knocking him over. He comes back at me and I jump aside, squealing in delight at our little mock fight.

"OK that's enough; I want to save my strength for Kyo." He rubs his hands together eagerly. "Haru, we haven't had anything to eat for three days. Do you really think you have any strength?" I snort.

_Akito is going to kill me. _I think privately to myself. I shiver in fear at what punishment awaits for me at home; but I don't want to think about that. I'll take whatever he can throw at me to see Yuki today.

"Look! There's a road!" Haru says happily as we finally reach the edge of the woods. I prick my ears at it; I can hear people a distance off. "Let's rest a minute." Haru decides and I nod, too used to following orders to object as I walk after him to where he lays down on the hill, his arms behind his head.

With a bit of an effort, I stretch out on my side next to him, my back to his side. I can't lie like this for long- I'll suffocate under my own weight- but it's nice to relax completely for a bit.

I lazily prick one ear towards the road where I can hear the footsteps and chatters of a large group of girls running past. "Must be a school thing." Haru murmurs. I glance up at them wistfully. I'd love to go to school; but animals aren't welcome in schools, Akito tells me.

"Oh my gosh! An old man! Sir, are you hurt?!" I hear a girl exclaim in terror as she runs over. "Oh no! Is that horse dead?!" She wails as Haru and I stare blankly at her. Is she serious?

_Oh it's that Tohru girl. _I realize. She struck me as a bit ditzy. When Haru sits up she jumps. "Oh! You're not old- you're my age! Oh, I'm so sorry!" She starts to babble but Haru ignores her, standing up and walking calmly to the road.

I get to my feet and stand next to Tohru as we both watch blankly as Haru rigs up a trip-wire. I wonder what on Earth that Ox is up to.

I hear footsteps, going so fast they rival the pound of my hooves when I race the moon and I raise my head, pricking my ears in surprise at the sight of Kyo and Yuki running down the road. Kyo takes the lead for a heartbeat; I'm glad at this, since the trip-wire is intended for him.

Sure enough, Kyo gets a mouthful of concrete.

"By the way, what I'm doing would hurt anyone but Kyo, so don't try this at home." Haru says to no one as he gets up.

"Who the hell are you talking to?!" Kyo snarls, getting up. "I was beating that Rat for once, and then you…" He stares at Haru, finally realizing who he's talking to.

"Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?" Haru grins, cracking his knuckles. I tune out him, Kyo, and Tohru as Yuki jogs up. He's out of breath; I see this at once. I can feel heat radiating off of him; he's sick.

"Yuki!" I exclaim, trotting towards him as Kyo and Haru go underneath the bridge to fight- Tohru is begging for them to break it up.

"You." Yuki says coldly, walking past me as he follows Tohru under the bridge. "Yuki, what's wrong? You're pale. Are you sick?" I demand, keeping pace with him. "I'm fine." He hisses.

I cock my head, eyeing his skinny frame. He's always been little, but when he's sick he looks worse. "You're lying." I declare and he ignores me, crossing his arms and leaning against the stone wall, watching Haru and Kyo battle it out.

I turn to Tohru, deciding to ask her. "Oi, Tohru-san- is Yuki sick?" I ask her bluntly and she jumps. "Ah! A talking horse?!" She's terrified. I sigh. I forgot she doesn't know who I am.

"Does she…?" I ask Yuki and he nods tightly, still not looking at me. "I'm a member of the Zodiac. Rei Sohma, pleased to meet you." I say, making an effort at a bow. Tohru bows hurriedly. "Oh! How silly of me! I should have known you're a Zodiac!" She laughs nervously.

"But is Yuki sick?" I repeat and she bites her lip. "He said he was feeling better…" She glances at him worriedly. I decide I like Tohru; she shows true concern for my brother. That makes her a friend in my book.

"Well, when the stubborn fool collapses from exhaustion, maybe he'll realize he shouldn't be out today." I glare in his direction as he coughs. My gaze softens when he presses a hand to his mouth, acting like a cough is no big deal.

"Yuki, if you need to lay down I can take you home…" I say gently. "No." Yuki says flatly as Haru and Kyo grab each others hands and face off. I hear Haru talking about Tohru and roll my eyes. Black Haru. Great. Just what I need.

Horses can smell sickness and health as well as we can smell food and water. The bitter, acrid smell of sickness radiates from Yuki- he must be miserable. I admire his strength as he stands tall, only emitting a feeble cough now and again.

But suddenly he sinks to the ground, coughing furiously now. I shriek and hurry closer. "Yuki!" I wish I could do something but am forced to stand helpless as Yuki fights a battle I can't fight for him- it frustrates me so much I kick the wall beside me, dislodging a brick once firmly cemented in place.

"It's his lungs." Haru sighs, back to White Haru in a flash at the thought of danger to Yuki as he crouches next to him. Yuki's unconscious- I want to hold him, like Haru is, but I can't.

"We need to get him home." He says, lifting Yuki effortlessly. "I'll take him." I say quietly and stand next to Haru as he gently places Yuki on my back, one arm wrapped over him to keep him from slipping.

I carry my brother with as much care as I would hold an injured bird; Yuki is the most precious cargo I have ever carried, and now he is sick. He needs me; and I am ready and able to step up to the plate.

It reminds me of days when we were younger and could get away from Akito, if only for a short while, those blessed moments in the sun. I would phase and gallop around with Yuki on my back, playing knights and dragons where we would always win and defeat the darkness.

OoO

Haru removes Yuki from my back and lays him in his bed; no one seemed to argue with the whole horse in the house thing.  
I nicker gently and press my nose to his forehead in an attempt at a kiss. "Sleep well, little brother." I murmur, bowing my head so my forelock trails over his cheek and turn and walk away. "Oh, Tohru-san, do you think I could borrow some clothes?" I ask her hopefully.

"Of course!" Tohru exclaims and leads me to her bedroom. She lays out a pair of jeans and a pink T-shirt and leaves me to dress, probably going back to my brother's side.

I phase and gasp at the pain in my back, doubling over and struggling to get my breath back. I straighten slowly, painfully, and dress; I hate the way the shirt clings to my back but if I slouch backwards it's not so bad.

I come back to Yuki's room and see Haru outside his room on the phone with Hatori. Haru hangs up and turns to me, puzzled. "He was yelling at me." He frowns. "Well no duh. You were gone for three days, bonehead." I snort.

He rolls his eyes but leads the way back into Yuki's room. He's waking up; he sits bolt up right, looking embarrassed we're all here. I hang back, knowing he doesn't want to see me but desperate to make sure he's all right.

I see Haru whisper something into Tohru's ear and she blinks, looking confused, but nods and Haru flashes me a grin as he comes to stand beside me.

"I'm glad you're awake… Prince Yuki." Tohru murmur, sounding a bit sheepish and Yuki offers a hasty reply then blinks, suddenly blushing. There is a pink explosion, then a tiny grey rat is sitting on the bed in his place.

"Wow. He likes Tohru." Haru says thoughtfully. I nod, but inside I am screaming with joy. Yuki? In love? He has come so far from the untrusting, suspicious little boy he once was- I want to hug and kiss him, telling him how happy I am for him, but I restrain myself.

"You know Tohru, I want to thank you." I say as she notices I am there and hurries over. "Eh? For what?" She looks confused.

"I don't know what you did, but whatever it is, you keep Yuki and Kyo from killing each other. For that, I am grateful." I nod to her and she blinks in surprise. "It's true; normally they'd be at each other's throats every minute." Haru adds and she blushes lightly.

There's another pink explosion and I turn around with Tohru, who squeaks with embarrassment and hurries out the door as Yuki transforms.

Haru leaves with her; I wait until Yuki's dressed before I turn around again.

"Hey. Feeling better?" I ask quietly. He shrugs. "I'm fine." He replies then coughs and lies down on his bed, closing his eyes.

I watch him in silence, waiting until I'm sure he's sound asleep before I come to sit beside him, brushing the silver hair off of his too-warm forehead. I lean down and kiss him gently on the forehead and straighten, watching my little brother sleep. Suddenly all the years of punishment are worth it; I don't care what Akito does to me tomorrow. I got to see my brother in love and asleep- no matter what, it was worth it. It always is, in the end.

OoO

**Whoa. Long chapter for me. O.O And yes, I curse in this story. Yay. I just think it's too serious for my usual skittishness, you know? I won't go too far with cussing though- let me know if you're OK with the cursing or if I should go back to my usual * thing. **

**Happy Cinco De Mayo! :D**

**- LOSGAP =D**

5


	3. Chapter 3

**Hola mi amigos! Como estas? Bueno? Bueno! (If you're monolingual I just said "Hello my friend! How are you? Good? Good!" **

**Nothing much to say- prepare for angst. o.o **

**LOSGAP =D**

"Stop that scratching." Akito rasps from his bed and I nod, slowing my pen down, stemming the flow of ideas from my mind to pen.

Writing is the only thing that keeps me sane. It helps me escape from the never-ending nightmare that is Akito's chambers, allowing me to completely disappear into my own mind.

I write about things I know don't exist. Like faeries, dragons, and happy endings. Why? Because nothing could be farther from the harsh reality that is my life.

A glass smashes into the notebook in front of my face, narrowly missing my head. "If you're going to scribble on and on, go to your room and do it." Akito says icily and I get to my feet and hurry from the room, my head down.

I enter my room and stare around in dismay. I hate my room. It's a cage; there are even bars on the one window I have.

It's small, for one thing. Two paces from wall to wall. The floor is gray concrete, as are the walls. My only furniture is the blanket and pillow on the floor I call my bed. I'm lucky to have even that, I know- I thank God every day for the window. In Yuki's 'special' room, there is no bedding to speak of, and of course no windows. I feel lucky I can breathe fresh air in here.

But an open window isn't much fun in winter; I wrap my blanket around myself and continue to write, watching my breath steam in front of me as I explore far-off lands full of sunshine and warmth.

OoO

I champ on my bit and snort impatiently, waiting for Akito. It can't be more then 20 degrees- and I've been waiting here for an hour. Where is he?

A whip cracks above my head and I rear up, neighing shrilly in surprise- I didn't even hear him get in. "To the school." He orders, smacking my back with the reins and I take off at a cautious trot. The ground is covered in ice- the plows haven't been through yet. If I'm not careful, the cart's wheels will get stuck in this, and then were will be?

I don't think about what would happen if I slip and fall.

We pull up in front of the school and I turn my head to look for Yuki and Tohru. I want to keep an eye on this girl- she seems nice and innocent, but the last thing I wanted was my little brother's heart broken. She would pay, if she broke him down.

I spot him speaking with Tohru- Kyo is nearby, red in the face with apparent anger about something. I wonder what he's worked up about now.

I prick my ears and let out a little whinny when I glimpse Haru and he waves back; his eyes harden as Akito drags my head around and my ears go back.

"Quit socializing. Horses don't talk to people." Akito hisses and I nod tightly, keeping my eyes on the ground. "I'm cold." Akito complains. "You shouldn't have made me go out in this weather, baka uma." He spits, hauling on my reins and turning me around. "Take me home." He demands and I lean into the harness, grunting with effort. We're stuck- the idiot left the brake on. I can't move; the wheels, locked in place, are stuck fast in the ice- and I'm left standing in the middle of the road since he won't let me turn.

Cars swerve around me, honking and yelling for me to get out of the way. The horns and shouts frighten me; my ears go back, and I shiver nervously. I want to run again; I need to get out of this place. Now.

"Get moving!" Akito snaps, whipping me repeatedly as I nearly gallop in place, straining against the harness. I buck slightly in frustration- this is getting us nowhere. I start to turn but Akito hauls my head back, snapping something about me trying to steal Yuki's attention. From what, I don't know. There's no way Yuki can see Akito in his cart- besides, I doubt Yuki would cast a second glance in my direction.

A scream grabs my attention; my head snaps to the left and I don't have time to react.

The school bus, come to pick up students, can't get traction on the slick ice; its tires are locked in place as it skids down the road. Straight towards me.

I barely have time to rear up in terror before it slams into me.

OoO

There is a sound of snapping leather as I'm torn from the cart and the crunch of bone and flesh against metal as I'm carried straight off my hooves, my face flying into the window.

I shut my eyes tight as the glass shatters around me, hoping I haven't hit the driver.

It all happens so fast I don't know what happened as I'm thrown to the ground roughly, and the bus, unable to stop, bumps right over me, its tires shrieking with effort as it tries to stop.

There's no sound, no feeling.

All I can hear and feel is the beat of my heart and the blood roaring in my ears. _What happened? _I think numbly, wondering if I can get up. I can't move my head; my reins are tangled around my legs.

My entire left side is throbbing; I am in shock, so the pain isn't there yet. All I can feel is a growing numbness as I stare at nothing, wondering why everything is so blurry.

Then everything hits me at once.

I can hear screaming; I wonder if some of it is mine. I can't breathe; the smell of blood is all around me, suffocating me, making me gag as the metallic taste hits the roof of my mouth. I hear running footsteps- the students, having recovered from what they have just seen, are coming to see if maybe, just maybe, I somehow survived this.

"Rei!" I recognize one voice as a strong, familiar hand lands on my shoulder, shaking me gently. "Rei? Are you OK?" He asks anxiously.

_Oh I'm just peachy. _

I try to look at him, but everything is swimming before my eyes; I become aware of a piercing pain in my eyes and realize those blurry spots are bits of glass.

Haru takes out his pocket knife and cuts my reins, making my head snap up. My legs flail out as I try to get my bearings and he presses his hand on my neck, quieting me. "Don't move." He murmurs and I close my eyes, wishing it would all just end.

"Is she… alive?" The voice is so faint, I barely recognize Tohru. "Is she?" I recognize that voice instantly; it's Yuki.

I open my eyes slowly and see him standing near Haru, beside Tohru. I let out a faint nicker at the sight of him and roll onto my stomach, wincing in pain.

"Holy crap- it's getting up!" A student exclaims in shock as slowly, inch by painful inch, I stand.

My entire left side gives out and I start to go down again, but Haru leans into my left shoulder, using himself as a human crutch, keeping me on my feet.

I turn my head to Haru, wishing I could thank him as Yuki assures the crowd I'm fine and gets them to go home. "What happened to the bus?" I ask as quietly as I can. Haru stares at me, then shakes his head. "You're barely breathing and you want to know about the _bus?_" He says incredulously. "There weren't kids on it, right?" I ask anxiously. "No, just the driver. It finally stopped up there- Yuki's talking to the driver now. He's the president of student council so I guess it's his job." He shrugs. I nod and close my eyes, letting my head sink to the ground.

"We need to get you to Hatori." Haru says and I make a sound of agreement. "I have to get Akito home though." I murmur and automatically turn to where the cart, apparently none the worse, is waiting, with Akito sitting calmly in it, watching everything with a faintly amused expression.

Haru stays by my side, protesting every step I take as I go right back to my master.

"Haru, just leave me alone." I snap finally. "I'm fine… really." I shake my head as a powerful wave of dizziness overcomes me and I stumble. "No you're not." Haru says firmly, as stubborn as me. We glare at each other for a moment then I snort, heading back to the cart, leaving Haru to stare after me.

"Ah, I see my little horse survived that?" Akito asks as I get close enough to hear him. "Nothing could keep me from coming back to you, Master." I grunt, limping up beside him. My leg foreleg dangles uselessly above the ground, and my left hind leg doesn't feel much better.

"Of course. Because I own you." He smiles and runs his hand over my mane. He smacks my nose. "But you destroyed my cart, my pet. That means you must carry me home now." He says and I close my eyes briefly and nod, hoping Yuki isn't looking as Akito sits side-saddle style on me, like he's some emperor.

I hobble towards the road, every step agony. I can't wait until I get home to Hatori- he'll take the pain away. He has to.

My left side drags slightly as I walk; my right legs tremble with the added strain of carrying the majority of my weight but manage to hold. In a gallop, a horse will put all of its weight on one leg- but only for a few moments. I wonder how long my right side can keep this up.

OoO

I don't have to wait long to find out.

I barely manage to drop Akito off at his chambers and drag myself to Hatori's house before my right side buckles under me and I sink to the ground, unconsciousness sucking at my mind like dark waves. I close my eyes and sink below the dark surface and hope I don't wake up.

OoO

I only have flashes of memories after that- of Hatori asking me, gently, to change to human form- I obey, though it is agony. I black out again shortly after this; I wonder how long it's been as I start to wake up again.

"Severe concussion… eye scarring… broken arm and leg… four broken ribs… multiple facial and body contusions…" Hatori is listing my injuries to someone; I can't hear who. Wait, why can't I see who?

My eyes won't open; they stay stubbornly shut. I have a terrifying thought that maybe I'm in a coma. "Hatori?" I ask weakly and hear footsteps.

"You're awake?" His voice is surprised. "Why can't I open my eyes?" I ask quietly and I hear him sigh as he sits down on the bed next to me. I know I'm on a bed because the springs squeak as he sits.

"Rei, in the accident, your face went into the window, correct?" He asks and I nod. "Remember how you got glass in your eyes?" He questions and I nod again, wondering where this is going. "I did everything I could, and removed the glass, but your eyes are severely injured." He says quietly.

"Am I going to go blind?" I ask him, clutching the sheets in terror. "It's too early to tell." Hatori says slowly, and I know immediately he's hiding something. "Hatori, be blunt. What are the chances I'll see again?" I ask him, reaching up a hand to touch the bandages over my eyes.

"There's about a 10% chance you'll see again." He says quietly. My hand falls from my face and hits the bed. "I'm sorry." He sounds truly regretful.

I wonder if it's possible to cry with blind eyes; judging by the way my bandages are suddenly wet, it must be. A sob escapes my throat and my hand flies to my mouth. Hatori is still sitting here; I can sense distress coming off of him in waves.

"What's going to happen to me?" I ask quietly. "I don't know. Akito hasn't decided yet." A shudder of pure fear ripples through me. In my state, I can't serve him- if I'm blind, I'll be useless to him forever.

I hear the door shut and realize we weren't alone- I don't ask who it was. I don't even care; I'm so wrapped up in the thoughts of never going to see again.

"I'm sorry." Hatori says again, and I hear the squeak of bed springs as he gets up, and the quiet click as he closes the door behind him as he leaves.

**Yeah I'm evil, I know. *ducks flying objects* But I've always been fascinated with working with a blind character- it's a real challenge to try and create a mental picture for the reader without using sensory images for sight, you know? I welcome the challenge ^_^**

**Anyways, please review and don't hate me for blinding Rei!**

**LOSGAP =D**

4


	4. Chapter 4

**Yo! :D **

**Yes I know I update this story much more quickly then any of my others- because I can barely contain all the ideas lol but, sadly, have severe writer's block for my others D: **

**Don't forget to review! ^_^**

**LOSGAP =D**

I stare up at the ceiling- or, to be specific, the bandages over my eyes- and wonder if Hatori is ever going to take them off. They itch.

I am thinking this just as someone knocks at the door and I hear it creak open. I listen carefully, having learned to rely on my hearing the past three weeks. Judging by the heavy footsteps, it's Hatori. I've already taught myself to recognize the footsteps of him and Haru- no one else comes to visit me though.

"I think it's safe to take the bandages off now. Are you ready?" I know he doesn't mean if I'm ready to see again- he means if I'm ready to finally face the fact that I won't.

"Ready." I say firmly. I want out of these bandages; I need to face reality and stop hiding from the truth. Hatori says nothing, and slowly, careful not to catch the bandages on my eyes, he gently peels them off.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes slowly, gingerly, and find myself staring into the dark.

"Hatori, please tell me you left the lights off." My voice quavers and he sighs. "I'm sorry, Rei." He says quietly. "There's nothing we can do but wait." I close my eyes again, hating there is no difference between having them open and closed.

I'm never going to see my little brother's smile again. I'm never going to see the sky, or the ocean. I don't know why on Earth I bothered getting out of bed this morning.

"We have to tell Akito." Hatori reminds me and I let out a breath, opening my eyes again. "I'll do it." I say, and hate how Hatori has to help me gingerly get to my feet and lean on my one crutch. I feel so useless with both of my left limbs encased completely in a cast- I can't do anything with them. I had refused a wheelchair; the last thing I wanted was to be pushed around.

"Thanks." I grunt, taking a few cautious steps, using my crutch to discreetly check my path in front of me. That's another reason I picked a crutch; I can use it as a cane.

I feel it connect with the door and realize I'm going to have to start counting paces, stairs, everything, if I want to survive without leaning on someone's shoulder.

I make my way slowly down the corridors, feeling like a lost child as I feel my way gingerly through the darkness, worried there's a person or a piece of furniture in my way.

My hand feels a door; it's the right distance away from Hatori's house to be Akito's, so I knock quietly. "Enter." It's Akito; I could never mistake that voice.

I open the door and hear him stand up. "Who did that to you?" He asks, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "It was an accident, Master." I say politely, keeping my eyes on the ground, wondering where he is. He could have been right behind me, for all I knew. It would take a while to get used to this.

"Look me in the eye." Akito says suddenly and I flinch, raising my head slowly, my eyes darting around as I try to find the source of the voice in the dark.

"Look at me!" His voice turns demanding; Akito can smell a secret from a mile away. "I can't." I finally say weakly. "Why not? What's your excuse? Are you ashamed to look upon your Master?" He demands, and I hear footsteps as he approaches.

"I'm blind, Akito!" I snap, then wince as he strikes me, making me stumble. "Don't raise your voice at me." He says icily. Then he calms down.

"My poor Horse." He says suddenly, stroking my cheek, making bile rise in my throat. "You're useless now; crippled. If you weren't such a beauty I'd have to put you out of your misery." He murmurs and I wince.

"Now, go. I have no use for you; you cannot serve me if you can't even find me." He turns away and leaves. I stand there, shocked. No, no, this can't be happening. He can't be turning me away. I _have _to stay.

"Please, Master! Let me stay! I can still serve you!" I beg, my thoughts running wild with images of him taking Yuki back from his freedom.

"Really? Well, try and find me then." I can almost hear his smirk. I hesitate, turning my head, trying to hear him breathing.

I hobble forward, reaching out to where I think I can hear him breathing and hear him laugh from the other side of the room.

"Try again!" He says gleefully. I turn towards his voice and feel a hand brushing my back as he slides past me, taunting me. I whirl and stare at where he just was, my helplessness threatening to overwhelm me.

"Marco!" Akito provokes me and I grit my teeth, leaping at him, feeling my fingers just barely touch his kimono before he is gone.

"You might as well stop." Akito says, suddenly quiet again. "There's no point. You're blind; worthless, useless. You might as well just die; it'd make little difference around here. No one needs you anymore." I close my eyes, refusing to let Akito see my tears.

He steps forward and snatches my crutch, making me collapse to the ground. "You can't even hold yourself up anymore. If you were a horse I'd have shot you a while ago." I hear the sound of footsteps as Akito walks up to me. He runs his fingers through my hair, murmuring, "Such a shame." before he leaves the room.

A furious, hopeless sob escapes me and I clench my one good fist, trembling with despair. He's right; it's pointless. Why bother fighting in the dark?

A tear escapes my sightless eye and I shut it, willing it to stop. Everything just stop. Let me take a breather. I can't lose my self-control, not now. The world was spinning around me out of control- I need to plant my feet and hold on for dear life.

I grit my teeth and slowly rise from the floor. No, I will not let Akito keep me down. I can't. You can't break the Horse; bruised, broken and crushed, they'll always rise from the dust again and again and eventually break you.

OoO

"Rei?" I raise my head from my room's floor and peer towards the door, blinking until I realize the truth. I'm awake; my eyes are open. My heart sinks; I'll never get used to dreaming of vibrant colors and past memories to open my eyes to darkness.

"Hey Haru. What's up?" I ask, sitting up and rubbing my eyes, yawning. "You doing OK?" He asks quietly and I nod.

"I'm actually here with good news; something you could definitely use." He says and I wonder if he's smiling. I miss his smile.

"Well, quit stalling and tell me then!" I asked, drawing my right leg up to sit cross-legged and looking up at Haru eagerly.

"Akito says you can't live here anymore." Haru sounds gleeful. I blink slowly. "That's the good news? I'm being kicked out of my home?" I demand, crossing my arms. "It gets better!" He crows. "He said you have to go live with Shigure!" My eyes widen and my hand goes to my mouth.

"Se- seriously?" I gasp, shocked. There is a silence, as though he's nodding, then he says, "Yup! Hatori's going to drop you off!" He says eagerly. I struggle up and hobble over to where his voice is coming from and hug him tightly. He hugs me back, laughing.

"You're free! Oh my gosh, Rei- you're free!" He spins me around and I find myself laughing with glee. _Freedom. _No longer will I have to beat my wings against the bars of this cage; finally, I may soar.

"Oh this is so great! I can't wait to see the look…" My happy laugh dies in my throat. Haru stops spinning me abruptly. "What?"

I wordlessly reach up and touch my eyes and feel him stiffen. "Oh…"

"I'm not going to see Yuki again." I say quietly. "Yes you are." Haru says determinedly, and he lets me go for an instant, going over to start shoving my clothes into a bag he must have brought for me.

A wave of despair overcomes me and I slide down the wall behind me until I'm sitting on the ground, my arms wrapped around my knee, hugging myself with my left leg and arm sticking out awkwardly.

"I can't let Yuki see me like this." I say quietly. "Yuki's not going to care. He's going to love you once you explain what's been going on." He says determinedly. "I can't tell him." I say softly and he pauses. "Why not?"

"Because… there's still a chance he'll take Yuki back. I can't let that happen." I turn my head until I hope I'm looking at Haru. "If Yuki knows what I've been through, he'll try and protect me from letting it happen again. You know Yuki; he can't help doing that kind of thing." I point out and Haru sighs.

"Fine, we won't tell Yuki why you're Akito's pet." I wince at the term but he doesn't notice. "Right now though, you are going to concentrate on the first good thing that's happened to you in years. So get up, put a smile back on that face and say; 'I'm going home!'" Haru commands, easily lifting me up to my feet.

"I'm going home." I say weakly, not feeling the energy. "Louder!" Haru cries. "I'm going home!" I shout, mainly to please him, and find a laugh bubbling out of my throat. "Oh, Haru think of it… sleeping in… not having to pull that damn cart…" I sigh happily.

"You need this." He says as we make our way slowly down the hall. I hear the door open and half-expect to see a bright light, like I'm walking into Heaven, but of course it looks exactly the same.

"I'm coming with by the way." He adds and I grin. "Wouldn't have it any other way. Wait, do they know I'm coming?" I ask as Haru helps me cautiously settle in the backseat. "Shigure does." Hatori says from the front. "Hopefully he hasn't told Yuki yet. He'd probably bar the doors and windows." I joke weakly and Haru laughs, wrapping an arm around my shoulder in a comforting hug.

"Don't worry; he'll be ecstatic to see you!" He assures me.

OoO

Hatori leaves right after dropping Haru and I off; he has to get right back to Akito, now that he's short a pet.

"Three steps to the porch." Haru murmurs when I feel a step under my crutch and I nod, cautiously lifting myself up. "Thanks." I breathe as Haru knocks. I wish I knew what my new home looks like.

The door opens and I make an attempt at a smile, wishing I knew who I was looking at.

"Haru-kun!" The voice is female; I think it's Tohru. "Hello, Miss Honda." I feel movement beside me; is Haru bowing? I smile slightly. The boy has always been a gentleman.

"Hello, Tohru-san. I doubt you remember me." I say with a smile. "I'm sorry, but I don't! I'm sure I'm just too stupid to remember but…" I raise my hand, cutting her off. "First off, you're not stupid." I say firmly. I was not going to tolerate anyone around here thinking they were stupid.

"Second, of course you don't remember me. I looked a little… different the last time we met." I manage to say. "Different?" Tohru echoes, confused. "She's the Horse of the Zodiac and was the same horse you saw hit by a bus three weeks ago." Haru says flatly, ruining the moment and I glare in his general direction.

"Oh my goodness! Of course I remember you! Oh, that was so scary are you OK?!" Her words are running together; I can barely understand a word she's saying. I laugh at her worrying; it was refreshing to have someone so concerned. "Ah, I'm fine. By the way, my name's Rei." I add.

"Oh hello Rei-san! My name is Tohru Honda, pleased to meet you!" I feel air brush my face, as though she is bowing quickly.

"Miss Honda, what's with all the noise…?" I stiffen as I hear Yuki's voice and hear his footsteps. I can feel his presence; he must be right in front of me, behind Tohru. I can't see the look he's giving me, but I feel a sudden chill.

"Well, looks like you survived." He says flatly. "Nice to see you too." I respond coolly. I don't want him to think he can hurt me, even though every word feels like he's stabbing me in the heart.

"Rei-san, is there any chance you and Yuki-kun are related? You have the same eyes and face…" Tohru trails off and I feel a sudden tear leap to my eye. Yes, we do have the same eyes; something I have always been proud of. Now they are useless; I wonder if Yuki can see a difference in them.

"I'm his older sister." I say and Tohru gasps. "Wow! I didn't know Yuki has a sister! How neat!" She exclaims. I hear footsteps and my heart sinks. Yuki is walking away.

OoO

"_Get out of this house._" Yuki hisses at Shigure, who has delivered the apparently awful news I'm staying here. I look down at my plate, suddenly wishing I was back in my cell. A warm tingle spreads through my right side, as though Haru is giving me a sympathetic look.

"I know I know it sucks to have to see your big sister." I snap. "But could you stop being a baby about it and deal with it like a man?" I immediately wish I could take it back; just because I'm upset with Yuki doesn't mean I should take it out on him. I hear Kyo snickering at my words and shoot a glare in his direction.

"You know Yuki, you should really be kinder to her, considering the fact that she's…"

"A girl! Jeez Yuki, you should really learn to be a gentleman at some point." I cut off Haru before he can utter that awful word; _blind. _

There's an awkward silence; everyone knows Haru was about to say something and I interrupted him, but no one musters the courage to ask, and Haru isn't talking. I am grateful for this and make a note to thank him after we all finish dinner.

"So, I guess this means you'll be staying in Yuki's room, then?" Shigure asks and there is a sound like Yuki threw some of his food at him, which makes Haru snort with laughter.

"Absolutely not." Yuki says coldly. I wonder if anyone can see the knife sticking out of my chest.

"Why not?" I demand, glaring at him. "I don't want you in my room." He says flatly. "Well, would you rather I impose on Tohru?" I say smugly and he falls silent as Tohru babbles about how she doesn't mind.

"It's fine Tohru. Yuki should have to deal with his sister instead of forcing her on other people. Yuki, did you ever stop to think it would be uncomfortable for Tohru to have a complete stranger sleeping in her room?" I point out. There is a cold silence; Yuki seems angry with me. I don't blame him. I'm angry with myself.

"So I guess that settles it! Rei stays in Yuki's room." Shigure bangs his chopsticks on the table like some sort of judge.

"I should probably get going now; thank you for the lovely dinner, Miss Honda." Haru stands up beside me and I glance up at him. "Bye Haru." I grin up at him. He ruffles my hair, just like always and is gone. I turn my attention back to my meal, finishing quickly.

"Tohru, need some help with the dishes?" I ask, about to get up and help when she protests. "Oh no that's fine! I work for my room and board here so taking help would be cheating!" She collects our plates with renewed energy and I raise my eyebrows, impressed with her.

"Well, I'm off to wash up." I say, slowly getting to my feet. No one offers to help; Shigure, because he's Shigure, Kyo, because he wandered off a while ago. Yuki? Just because I'm his sister.

I walk twice as carefully as usual, walking on eggshells. If I crashed into something here, my secret could be revealed; the last thing I wanted was pity from anyone. I didn't want Yuki to see me like this; weak, helpless, instead of the rock who had quietly taken his burden from him years ago.

OoO

But when I finally make my way to Yuki's room, after swallowing my pride and asking Shigure where it was, I find the door is closed and locked.

I stare at it for a moment and wonder what I'm supposed to do. I knock quietly. "Yuki?" I ask. No response. The boy is like me; once asleep, we're dead to the world for an indefinite amount of time.

I sigh and turn away, hobbling down the stairs to the living room. I carefully lower myself down on the couch I discovered by nearly tripping over it earlier and lean back, staring up at the dark, willing the tears not to come. So far, this had been a complete disaster. Yuki was showing me the true depths of his hatred; when the boy loved, he loves with all his heart. Same when he hates; he's made that perfectly clear to many people now.

I throw my right arm over my eyes, wondering how I managed to walk out of one prison and right into another.

**Not much to say again; reviews please! :D**

**- LOSGAP =D**

5


	5. Chapter 5

**Rawr?**

**LOSGAP =D**

I can smell food cooking and roll over. "Food…" I mutter, struggling up and blinking repeatedly. For a moment I sit there, rubbing my eyes and wondering why they won't open before I remember.

_It is always going to be this painful to wake up in the morning? _I wonder, staring ahead at nothing. I struggle up to my feet and in a half-asleep daze wander to the dining room.

"Good morning Rei-san!" Tohru greets me pleasantly and I grunt once, realizing I have no clue where I am going to sit. Haru had led me to an empty seat last night; now I'll have to guess and hope I don't sit on anyone.

I tap ahead with my crutch discreetly, thankfully hitting an empty spot and I sink to the floor, my leg sticking out awkwardly under the kotatsu.

It's an awkward, silent meal; I can feel resentment radiating from Kyo like heat and sigh. I know he must hate me for serving the person he hates most, next to Yuki; I'm waiting for him to trip me or something.

Shigure is humming to himself as he eats; as usual, completely ditzy. He doesn't seem angry at me; then again, Shigure is a strange man. One moment he will be singing about high school girls and writing awful novels; the next he's meeting with Akito and completely… I wasn't sure how to put it. He scared me, when he had his meetings with Akito. Next to me and Hatori, Shigure sees Akito the most willingly.

What a strange man.

OoO

"OK well we're going to school! Bye!" Tohru calls as she, Kyo and Yuki leave. "Have fun!" I wave, wishing I could see Yuki off, but also happy I can't see him ignoring me.

"Well, what am I supposed to do all day?" I ask, turning to Shigure once they leave. "We could have a little fun…" He says and I strike out with my crutch towards his voice, feeling it connect with something as Shigure cries out in pain.

"You sick bastard." I spit, hobbling off to the stairs to try and find Yuki's room.

I keep myself busy finding rooms and counting steps from each room, until I'm pretty sure I have things memorized. Whenever I hear Shigure moving, I pause and listen to his footsteps, committing them to memory. Shigure's kimono swishes a bit as he walks; he's pretty easy to identify, I discover.

It was a boring day, overall. I couldn't find a thing to do and found myself wishing I could go to school.

_But what would a blind girl do in a school? _I thought bitterly as I sank down on Yuki's bed, lying down and closing my eyes. I wondered if I was going to have to share it with Yuki- he'd probably push me out in the middle of the night and claim it was an accident.

I wonder when Yuki will ever learn to love me again, and maybe, just maybe, he'll forgive me one day.

OOO

"You awake?"

I blink open my eyes, realizing I've fallen asleep on Yuki's bed and sit up straight. I wait for the voice to speak again, hoping fiercely the person hasn't asked me a question and is expecting me to use their name.

"It's just me." The voice says and I sigh with relief. "Haru, what are you doing here?" I question. "Hatori wants me to keep checking up on you." Haru explained, and I hear the squeak of a mattress as he sits down next to me.

"Are they treating you all right?" He asks and I nod. "They're all nice." I paint a smile on my face and I can sense his disbelief. "Rei, be honest."

"Well, they're not _great _but they haven't chained me up in the basement yet." I rolled my eyes and hear him chuckle. "Good, because otherwise I'd have to make them treat you well." He cracks his knuckles and I laugh.

"Haru, what are you doing here?" I lift my head at Yuki's voice and look towards the door. "Checking on Rei." Haru says brightly.

"Oh, and I have some bad news." Haru said suddenly, standing up. "What bad news?" Yuki and I ask flatly in perfect unison. "Ayame'scomingtovisit OK! Bye now!" Haru speaks so fast I can't understand him and dashes out the door.

It takes a minute before Yuki and I realize what Haru has just told us.

"I'm going to kill him!" I snarl, getting to my feet and wishing I could throw something. "There's no way I'm going to be able to deal with both of you." Yuki says, his voice laced with poison and I find myself a little afraid of him.

"Quick, we need a getaway. Got an escape hatch or something?" I ask, hobbling over to where Yuki is standing. "I wish." Yuki snorts, and I hear him turning to leave when there is an outburst downstairs.

"Shi-chan! It's so lovely to see you!" We both freeze in horror.

"Aya! It's been so long…" I stick my finger in my mouth and pretend to gag as Yuki and I lock the door and hide up in his room, sitting in silence on the bed.

"YUKI! REI!"

We listen to his footsteps as he runs around the house, calling us repeatedly. We stay silent, and I feel a strong urge to tease Yuki about being "quiet as a mouse" but know I'll probably get a well-deserved punch for that.

The doorknob rattles. "Yuki! Did you lock the door on me again?!" Ayame is right outside now; I wonder how we're going to get out of here alive.

"Fine! I'll just go have Tohru make me some tea then!" He laughs, unperturbed and I hear his footsteps as he skips away. To my surprise Yuki leaps to his feet and hurries out the door.

"She's not your servant!" I hear him roaring as I hobble after him, listening to Tohru babbling about how she doesn't mind making some tea, would you like some?

"Quit treating her like that!" Kyo snaps as I come into what I know is the kitchen, judging by the smells, Tohru is making dinner.

"REI!" I am suddenly hugged painfully tight and I squeak as Ayame glomps me. "AYAME PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!" I shriek as he spins me ecstatically.

"I swear, if I had both fists I'd put you out a window!" I snarl as Ayame puts me down. "Aw, someone has anger issues." Shigure titters and I hiss under my breath.

"I'm out of here." Yuki mumbles and leaves, while Ayame cries out after him, begging him to come back.

"Rei, are you all right?" Ayame asks when he returns after wailing after Yuki's departure.

"I'm fine." I reply stiffly, hearing him close. "Are you sure? Your eyes are so cloudy…" I shove him away from me and snap, "I said I'm fine! What would you care, anyway?" Before I quite know what I'm doing, I'm outside and walking down the road, desperate to escape.

I've always hated Ayame; when Yuki and I were young, he never once showed an interest in us; I was there when Yuki reached out to him, a silent plea for help, and Ayame shrugged off his hand and walked away.

That was the first time in years Yuki had cried.

I clench my fist and come to a tired halt, staring sightlessly at the ground. I couldn't believe my older brother; first he wants nothing to do with us, and now he acted like he could just waltz right back into our lives?

Where was he the past seventeen years? Off gallivanting with Shigure and Hatori- pretending we didn't exist.

And back then, we didn't exist to anyone except Akito; we lived in the dark, mere ghosts that wandered the halls of the main house.

But Yuki wasn't a ghost anymore; he had a social life, he had friends. I was the ghost in this family now; trailing after Akito, always waiting in the shadows, silently keeping guard over Yuki.

And now Ayame acted like he wanted to be that guard for us- the coward couldn't handle seeing Akito, despite the fearless façade he often put on. He too stupid to be of any help anyway; I didn't know why he tried to mend a relationship that had never even existed. Why repair a bridge when there was never one to begin with?

OOO

When I finally came back, a bit calmed down, I discovered Ayame had taken Tohru out for dinner, leaving us to fend for ourselves.

"I'm not hungry anyway." I mutter, gingerly climbing the stairs and going back to Yuki's room, getting out my pad and pencil. It's hard to write with just one hand, but I need to vent.

After touching my pencil to the paper, I realize this is pointless. My hand tightens around the pencil until I fear it may break. I'm not going to be able to see my writing, or any of my mistakes. But then again, I rarely read what I had written or let others read it- if my handwriting was messy, who would care? As long as I gave my emotions an outlet, even just free-writing, I don't care if I'm writing in Arabic.

Smiling slightly to myself, I begin to free-write. Free-writing is when you write down the first words that jump to your mind, never stopping to think, just venting.

I can feel my pencil carving out words that jumble and run together, like my thoughts.

My shoulders sink gradually and I lean back against Yuki's bed from where I am on the floor, feeling my muscles slowly loosen. It felt so good to spill out everything like that; almost like speaking to a friend and just letting your emotions flow, except this friend wouldn't be able to tell your secrets.

When I am relaxed again I ball up the papers I have used up and stuff them under the bed, wishing I knew where the nearest garbage can was.

I decide to write creatively now, escape into my fantasy world.

I am completely absorbed in my tale of princesses who save themselves from their dungeons when the door opens.

"Ayame went home." Yuki says, sitting down on his bed. "What are you doing?" It's the first time he has spoken to me since my arrival without malice in his voice; he sounded tired and relieved to finally be free of Ayame.

"Writing." I reply, glancing up in his direction and offering him a tentative smile. "About what?" He questions, and I hear the sound of him lying down, not bothering to undress.

"Random stuff." I laughed. "It's stupid." I admit. There is a silence, as though he is biting back a comment about my own stupidity.

"Why?" He asks suddenly and I look up. "Why what?" I'm nervous; I can feel my heart pounding. Is he finally going to ask about why I am Akito's pet?

"Why do you write?" He clarifies and my heart sinks slightly. I wasn't sure if I was ready to deal with that conversation though, and am relieved.

"I write because I want to make something out of nothing. Just using words, ink and paper and making another world, a story for someone to slip into like a new skin. I can't explain it, but I need to create something like that, you know?" I tip my head up and look at him, wishing I could see what expression was on his face.

"Yes. I know." He rolls over and is silent as I put my pen and pad away, stretching out on my own mattress on the floor.

"Night Yuki." I say, closing my eyes, knowing he isn't going to respond. But after a few minutes, I hear his soft voice in the dark.

"Good night, Rei."

**More Ayame moments to come, don't worry *laughs* I need to re-watch the episode where he comes in, because I'm starting to forget the kind of things he says xD How sad. **

**Well, that's all for now! Hope you guys liked it! :D**

**- LOSGAP =D**

4


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! I'm not sure what the term for sister is in Japanese, but I think it's "Nii-chan". If not, feel free to correct me! ^-^**

**LOSGAP =D**

OOO

Spring sneaks up on us, bit by bit. Suddenly the wind that blows through the windows is no longer cold but warm, whispering promises of new life and fresh starts.

With the spring comes freedom; Hatori removes my casts, and for the first time in months I don't feel completely helpless.

I step outside without leaning on anything and take a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh, warm air. I have stopped wishing I could see the new flowers and the pearly blue of the sky; it's pointless and only leaves me broken.

But there is something I want to do; so when Hatori asks if I want a ride back to my house I respectfully decline, asking if I can stay a little longer. He is shocked, but he agrees, and I go to find Haru.

I'm told he's watching Kisa today, and sure enough I find the two of them in her room. I knock and hear the door being opened. "Hey! Wow, your casts are gone! That's gotta feel pretty good, huh?" Haru greets me with a warm hug, and I hug him back, glad I can with both arms.

"You can't even imagine." I say, pulling back from him. I feel arms wrap around my leg and pat the head pressed against my side with a smile. "Hi Kisa." I say, smiling down at her.

"Is she still not talking?" I ask Haru quietly. "She talks sometimes." Haru says. "Well that's good! You know how much I love hearing your cute voice, Kisa!" I hug Kisa tightly.

"What's wrong, Nii-chan?" I blink in surprise at Kisa's quiet question. "Nothing, Kisa." I reply, frowning down at her. Her arms tighten around me. "You're sad." She presses and I stare at her.

"I'm fine, Kisa." I smile and she shakes her head. "Something's wrong." I open my mouth to respond that nothing's wrong but Haru has already removed her from my leg.

"OK! What do you want to do today, Kisa?" He asks and I let out a sigh of relief at the subject change.

_You can't get anything pass children. Especially Kisa. _I think as Kisa says she wants to go outside, so I follow Haru at a reserved pace, wondering if she's going to figure out I can't see her anymore soon.

OOO

"Is anyone watching?" I question and Haru replies there isn't so I hop off the porch, phasing in mid-leap.

I whinny and rear up, snorting with delight as my hooves hit the ground.

"You've been waiting two months for that, haven't you?" Haru asks, sounding amused as I leap and buck, pounding my pent-up energy into the ground. "I am so tired of hobbling around like a cripple!" I exclaim, kicking my heels up.

"Anyone would get tired of that. Just try and stay in the one place, would you?" Haru asks and I nod. It's a bit scary to leap and plunge in the dark, but I have become literally jittery after being encased in plaster for the past two months.

I charge forward, snorting with exertion and promptly run smack into the building.

I throw my head up in surprise at the explosion of pain in my forehead and shake my head, clearing my mind. "You OK?" Haru questions anxiously. "Fine." I reply, humiliated as I back away from the wall.

"I'm just going to phase back now." I say quietly, and turn around, my head bumping into something solid. By the scent, what I've hit is Kisa.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Kisa!" I exclaim, nudging her with my nose to see if she's all right. "Are you blind, Nii-chan?"

The question is so blunt, so direct I freeze. What are you supposed to say in that kind of situation?

"Yes." I finally say. "Yes, Kisa- I'm blind." There's no point in denying it. People are going to find out eventually. Even if Yuki and everyone haven't discovered it yet, that doesn't mean they won't someday.

Kisa says nothing, wordlessly wrapping her arms around my neck in a hug. I whicker and press my head against her back, pulling her close to me.

"I'm sorry." She says into my mane,

"I am too." I reply quietly.

OOO

"I'm home!" I call, kicking off my shoes.

"Welcome back! Dinner will be ready soon!" Tohru calls from the kitchen and I make my way there. "Oh! Rei-chan, you don't have your casts!" She exclaims and I grin, twirling a bit. "Isn't it great?" I laugh and she hugs me. "It's fantastic!" She says happily.

Tohru and I have steadily forged a friendship in the months I've been here- she's the only one who happily strikes up a conversation in me, and interested in my answers.

"I'll be right back." I say, and trot off, calling "Yuki!" as I look for my little brother. "What do you want?" His voice is bored, half-there- he's probably studying or doing homework.

"Look! I got my casts off!" I beam. "Well at least you won't be clumping around the house anymore." Yuki deadpans and I feel my shoulders sag a bit.

"You could at least pretend to be happy for me." I sniff, stalking to our now shared room.

After the first month had passed, everyone seemed to come to terms with the fact I wasn't going to leave soon and Shigure put in a second bed. It was now a bit cramped, but better then the roll-up mattress on the floor.

I flop down on my bed, staring up at the darkness, the silence ringing in my ears.

Sometimes I have nightmares, feeling as though the darkness is pressing down on me, hot and suffocating, until scream myself awake, and find that no one has come to investigate.

I never wake Yuki up in the middle of the night; somehow, he sleeps through it. I wonder if he has some sleeping pills stashed under his pillow or something.

I hear a knock at the door. "Rei-chan? Dinner's ready." It's Tohru, so I sit up. "I'll be down in a moment." I say, sliding off the bed.

I make my way downstairs and sit down in the place I usually sit, next to the head of the table, by Shigure, and next to Yuki.

"It's such nice weather, isn't it?" Tohru asks and I nod. I am reminded suddenly of earlier today, when I mentioned how glad I am the snow was gone in a conversation with Hatori as he removed my casts.

_Flashback._

"_I'm so glad the snow melted; I hated skidding around in it." I say as I stretch, relieved to be free of my portable prison. _

_Hatori is silent; I wonder what he's thinking, and ask him. "An old friend." He replies and I blink in confusion, but don't press it. _

"_When the snow melts, what does it become?" He asks suddenly and I tilt my head, thinking for a minute. "I guess it depends how you look at it." I say slowly. "To some people, snow melts into water. That's the cold, logical way to look at it._

"_But I think it melts into… color." I admit and hear his footsteps as he turns to me in surprise. "I mean, snow is a cold, plain thing… colorless. Emotionless. _

"_But when it melts, it brings red roses, green grass, millions of colors exploding in the world since the white blanket has been removed… yeah, it brings color." I say finally. _

_End flashback._

It was a rather strange way to look at it, but for someone who can't see colors anymore, you tend to reflect on them more often.

Maybe that was why we had winter. We become so used to seeing the endless whites and grays, feeling the chill of cold sunlight, we forget what it's like to have spring. So when it comes, it's twice as rewarding for people, to see the colors as though they've never seen them before, savoring the warmth and the sun kissing your cheeks.

The same with night; maybe we all need to spend some time in the dark, so that we may see the stars.

OOO

I can't sleep that night; something keeps tugging me awake, urging me to get up, but I ignore it and keep trying to sleep, but the nagging urge keeps coming, so I finally sit up, annoyed with myself.

I listen closely to the sounds of the night, wondering if I heard something in my sleep.

A whispered breeze. A hoot of a passing owl. The chatter of crickets.

But I become aware of other sounds; uneven breathing, rustle of sheets, a quiet gasp of desperation. I stand up and make my way to the sound.

"Yuki?" I question, sitting down on the bed. I've known him long enough to know when he's having a bad dream. I shake his shoulders gently and hear him grunt quietly, half-conscious, emerging from the nightmare.

I feel him lift his head and place it in my lap, unconsciously seeking the comfort an older sibling can bring. I run my hand over his head, whispering "It's OK. Go back to sleep, Yuki." I murmur, listening to his breathing gradually evening out.

"_Brother mine… don't you cry. Brother mine… dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, brother of mine…" _

I sing the lullaby softly, just like when he had nightmares as a small child. It wasn't the correct lyrics of the song, but I thought that calling him my baby would take away from the soothing lyrics.

Yuki is sound asleep; he won't remember this tomorrow, but I will. I've already stored it away in my heart, to open up and remember the next time he rejects me, the next time he refuses to acknowledge my attempts

I sit in the dark, listening to the sounds of his breathing, silently keeping guard over him, daring any nightmare to try and disturb my brother's sleep again.

I guess that's how it's always been. Me saving Yuki from the dangers he can't see, constantly watching from the shadows, waiting for the day he will recognize my efforts and maybe it will go back to how it once was. Just the two of us, against the darkness.

**Argh. Angsty fluff. How is that even possible?! **

**I liked it though- if you're wondering about the lullaby, it's an actual song from that I've always loved. (Though it goes "baby" instead of "brother")**

**I apologize for all the weird babbling and weird moments- please forgive me *laughs* I'm like, half-asleep as I write this so I may check my stories tomorrow and wonder where this chapter came from. **

**Enough babbling. Hope you enjoyed a glimpse into the sleeping mind of LOSGAP. **

**:)**

**- LOSGAP =D**

4


	7. Chapter 7

**RAWR! That's dinosaur for "I love you!" I love all my reviewers lol and anyone reading this so… RAWR EVERYONE!!**

**LOSGAP =D**

I scowl at the ceiling, stubbornly refusing to get out of bed and enjoy the day.

The house was silent; Yuki, Kyo and Tohru had all gone to the Hot Springs for White Day- Yuki and Kyo had refused to let me come, of course. I wouldn't have been able to come anyway- I'd most likely walk right into a Hot Spring and drown trying to find my way out. That didn't make their utter rejection of me hurt any less though.

I hear someone knock at the door and wait for Shigure to get it, staring ahead at the darkness while I waited for the voices to hear who had come to visit.

"Oh, Haru? What are you doing here?" I hear Shigure say in confusion and raise my head.

"I came to visit Rei." Haru replies, and I hear footsteps as he comes up to my door and knocks. "Rei?"

"What?" I grunt, rolling over to glare at the wall as he opens the door. "Happy White Day." Haru says and when I don't respond he sits down on the bed next to me.

"Hey, they didn't invite me either." He points out and I sigh. "Yuki isn't your brother though." I say. "And you still have full use of your eyes." I roll over and stare in his direction, wishing so badly I could see him.

"Well, we could play a game or something- you know, our own celebration. Normally I'd get you a present but you didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day." I can clearly imagine him pouting.

"You didn't get me anything!" I exclaim. "Yes I did." Haru protests. "What?" I demand, sitting up and crossing my arms in annoyance.

"The gift of friendship." Haru replies and I blink, then laugh and punch his shoulder playfully, glad I didn't miss it.

"I'm sorry I'm a crab." I say suddenly and hear him sigh. "I don't blame you." He replies. "Now, how about that game?" There's a sound like he's rubbing his hands together eagerly.

"And how do you expect me to play?" I ask dryly. "I'll play for you!" He says, and I hear the sound of something in a box, like Haru is setting a game on the bed.

"So you'll have to roll, and read the cards, and move my piece?" I ask. "Yup!" Haru says happily. "Then what am I supposed to do?" I demand, glaring.

"Sit there and be cute." Haru replies, and I hear the sound of dice being thrown. "OK you got 4. Let's see 1…2…3…4! Oh." Haru says.

"What?" I demand.

"Nothing." Haru mutters. "What do you mean, nothing?" I am getting steadily crankier. "You had to move back three spots… you're in the doghouse now." Haru says with a sheepish laugh.

"Lovely." I roll my eyes. "My turn!" Haru rolls the dice. "Six. Yes." Haru cheers quietly, his monotonous persona slipping back into place.

"Ah well. Nothing interesting this round." Haru shrugs and I sigh, slumping against the wall. I had to give the boy credit for trying to cheer me up, but it was kind of just bringing me down further.

OOO

Haru and I sit in silence after I have apparently won- I am certain he's cheated for me, but I let it pass.

"Well, this is fun." Haru says and I shrug. "Hey, at least you're trying." I say. "True." Haru says. I reach up and poke his cheeks. "What are you doing?" Haru says flatly as I run my fingers over his cheek. "I was hoping to see if you were smiling." I reply. I feel his cheeks lift up. "Better?"

"Yes." I smile, trailing my hand down his cheek to his arm, to where I know his tattoo is.

_Flashback._

"_Hatori is going to kill you!" I hiss, staring at Haru's arm in horror. _

"_So?" Haru shrugs, not really caring. I have to admit it is a cool tattoo though; the two interloping lines, snaking together in an endless band around his arm. _

"_Does it mean anything?" I ask, running my fingers over it to see if it feels any different. "The guy said it was just a bunch of squiggly lines to him but I like to think it represents life." Haru says and I sense one of his rare wise moments coming on. _

"_Really? How?" I'm genuinely curious though. "It's a circle- that represents eternity." He explains. "But why two?" I question. "I like to think they represent two people, circling together for eternity. Everyone has another half- we're all just circling around, trying to find our missing half. When we do, we make a whole." He takes my hand and places it over the tattoo, which has suddenly gained so much more meaning in my eyes. _

_End flashback._

"Still believe in that whole other half thing?" I ask, removing my hand from his arm and letting it fall to my lap.

"Yes." Haru replies. "Of course I do; one doesn't just give up their beliefs so easily." He says and I stare down at my lap.

"What if there's an uneven amount of people in this world?" I ask him quietly. "What if some of us just don't have a match? That we're going to circle around forever, always searching, and die alone?" I demand, raising my head to fix my sightless gaze on his.

"That is my greatest fear of all." Haru replies softly. I lower my eyes back to my hands. "Some of us are doomed to walk alone; that's just how it is, Haru." I say. I close my eyes briefly. Akito told me long ago that the Horse is an independent creature- how he defined that word to me though was different then the true meaning. I am to always be alone, never to find comfort in another's company. But now, as I sit with Haru, able to discuss such heavy things with him, I wonder if that is so true.

"Not all of us have to walk alone Rei." Haru says and pats my knee as he stands and leaves me alone with my thoughts.

OOO

I wander downstairs, wondering if Haru is still here.

"Oh Rei you're just in time to see the present I got Tohru for White Day!" Shigure says happily as I come down. "Haru, you look too!" He adds.

"It's about time she finally got a dress- the poor girl has been cleaning our house far too long without a proper maid's costume!" Shigure exclaims and I grit my teeth, not needing eyes to know what kind of horrible outfit Shigure has for her.

"It's amazing they haven't locked you up yet." Haru says flatly and I nod in agreement. "You're so cruel." Shigure sobs as I make my way outside and I hear footsteps as Haru follows me.

We sit down on the porch and I lean back on my hands, tilting my head back and savoring the feeling of the sun caressing my face.

"You know what I want?" I ask after a moment's silence.

"What?"

"A rocking chair." I can feel his surprised gaze and smile. "It'd be nice, you know? Just sit out here in the fresh air for hours, rocking back and forth… it's just a calming thing." I say.

"Hmm." Haru is obviously not very impressed with my strange wants and we fall into a silence; not exactly comfortable, but not awkward either.

"I've been a bit of a jerk today, haven't I?" I ask suddenly. "A bit." Haru doesn't lie and I sweat drop. "I'm sorry, it's just, you know…" I trail off, unwilling to finish my own sentence.

"I know." Haru replies, and we are quiet again.

"I'm almost getting tempted to tell them." I admit, and I don't need to tell Haru what I'm referring to. "Why?" Haru questions. "Because… I'm tired of being treated like crap around here. Even being treated like a cripple would be better then this." I say, staring ahead at nothing, wishing I could see the sun.

"I can see what you mean, but I thought you never wanted Yuki to think of you as weak?" Haru points out and I sigh. "I don't. I never, ever, want Yuki to use 'weak' and 'Rei' in the same sentence." I say firmly.

"But isn't it weak to hide from the truth?"

I fall silent at that. "They'll figure it out… one of these days I'm going to run into a wall or something and it's just going to click. I think Ayame is already guessing though." I admit.

"How would Ayame know though?" Haru asks curiously. "When he was here a while ago, he said my eyes were cloudy; and Kisa picked it up instantly, so how long before one of them looks at me and goes, 'You're blind, aren't you?'?"

"It won't be long." Haru says bluntly and I sigh. "I know." I mutter darkly. "Before we know it, everything's going to be out in the open."

**Random spot to end, I know- though I'm getting a little… twitchy, what with them not knowing the truth and all. Sometimes Shigure, Yuki, Kyo and Tohru annoy me with their cluelessness *laugh***

**Any who, I hope you guys liked the "Angstuff" or something like that – Angstyfluff? Flufangst? Ah well if you read the last chapter you know what I'm trying to say :)**

**See you guys later! :D**

**- LOSGAP =D**

3


	8. Chapter 8

I sit in silence, poking at my food with disinterest, wishing I didn't have to be alone with Shigure all day; what the man did in his office was a mystery to me, but eating lunch with him was never comfortable; I could usually feel his eyes on me, probing, and I wondered if he was either trying to figure me out or imaging me without my clothes on.

"So, Rei." Shigure says suddenly and I raise my head and look in his direction. "How long do you think you can keep this up?"

"Keep what up?" I blink, staring at him blankly, wondering what he's talking about.

"You think I don't know?" Shigure sounds amused. Sweat beads on my brow.

"It's so obvious you're blind." He continues and I stiffen, shocked. "How…" I shake my head, stunned. "You haven't looked anyone in the eye since you've come here- but it's so obvious you're trying to. And I noticed how you tapped ahead with your crutch a while ago- my only question is why do you hide it?" Shigure questions, a cat with a mouse in his paws deciding to play with it.

"I don't want Yuki to know. You won't tell him, will you Shigure?" I ask, looking up. "I don't know how he hasn't figured it out though." Shigure says. "Kyo's a moron, so he probably wouldn't figure it out if you were a boy- and Tohru, bless her soul, is a bit… out there, so I guess she wouldn't have picked it up. But Yuki is a smart, observant boy; I wonder why he hasn't noticed." Shigure says thoughtfully.

"Could it be he's already noticed and didn't want to say anything?" He questions and I stiffen, horrified at the thought. "Or maybe he doesn't care enough to really look at you?"

If Shigure had stuck a knife into my chest, he couldn't have wounded me worse.

"I don't know." I say softly.

"But why don't you want him to know? Don't you care that I know?" Shigure asks, I shake my head. "I don't give a damn what you all think of me- Yuki's opinion is the only one's who matters." I look at him, feeling tears well up in my useless eyes and blink repeatedly.

"I see. Well, I won't tell- I'm curious about how long it will be before they figure it out." Shigure says and my shoulders sag. "You won't tell Ayame, will you?" I ask hopefully and he laughs. "Ayame's reaction will be the best- I can't wait for him to come in and announce he has figured it out." He giggles and I scowl.

"Well, thank you, I guess." I say finally. "Not at all! I can take a guess at how you feel about this- well, I've felt enough women your age to guess." He says and I throw the table up, hearing him whimper in pain as it lands on top of him.

"Sick bastard." I snort, stalking from the room.

OOO

"Tohru," I say, as we clean the dishes, her washing and I drying. "Yes Rei-chan?" I pause, fiddling with the dishtowel.

"What would you do if I told you a secret?" I ask, knowing it'd be in my best interest if I told her, not Shigure. Despite his promise, I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

"I would never tell! I'm a good secret keeper- I would keep it to the grave, cross my heart and hope to die!" She exclaims, and I feel water flick my face as she jumps around in excitement.

"You wouldn't tell anyone? Not even Yuki?" I ask, turning to her. "Not if you didn't want me to!" She says firmly and I feel a strange trust- she struck me as an honest girl. Lying just wasn't in her blood.

"I have something wrong with me- well, something wrong with my body, and I don't want other people to know, OK?" I say slowly, turning the towel slowing around in my hands, running my fingers over the threads.

"I won't tell a soul!" Tohru says. "I'll be blunt; try not to get over excited, OK?" I say, taking a deep breath. "I'll be quiet!" Tohru shouts and I frown at this but decide not to push it.

"Do you remember the accident a few months ago?" I say and there is a silence, as though she's nodding. "Well, in the accident… I was blinded. I can't see, Tohru." I say quietly and she lets out a cry of horror.

"Oh Rei-chan! I'm so sorry!" She sobs, latching onto me and hugging me tightly, sobbing freely. I instantly regret telling her, but know it's best to swear her to secrecy instead of letting Shigure tell her.

"Don't apologize, please." I say, patting her back awkwardly as she cries. "But it's so terrible Rei!" She sobs. "All this time, I can't believe never noticed! Stupid Tohru, stupid!" She says, and I hear a thump as though she's hitting herself over her head. Surprising both of us, I manage to snatch her arm before she can hit herself again and hold it in an iron grip.

"Like I said the first time we really met, you're not stupid." I say. "Now, please keep your voice down, before someone…"

"Miss Honda, why are you crying?" I freeze at Yuki's voice and instantly release Tohru, holding my breath for her response.

"Oh! I'm fine! Rei-chan was just telling me a sad story, that's all!" She says and I let out the breath. It was a good excuse, even if it wouldn't lift me up any higher in Yuki's eyes for making his beloved Tohru cry.

"Everything about her is a sad story." Yuki says coldly and he is gone from the room. I blink once, twice, and walk outside of the house, ignoring Tohru's calling after me.

I sit on the porch and bury my face into my hands, a single, hoarse sob escaping my throat.

_He's right though… who am I kidding? My entire life _is _a sad story… and he's the main villain in it right now. _I think, my hands trembling with despair and pent-up, misdirected rage as I wondered who I could blame for my own misery.

"He isn't going to lighten up anytime soon." I hear Shigure's voice and slowly raise my head, finally smelling the acrid tang of cigarette smoke.

"You heard?" I feel my chin lift in pride at the fact my voice doesn't offer a single quaver. "Every word." Shigure says. "You're just like Ayame." Shigure says as he passes by me, entering the house and leaving me to stare ahead at the darkness, realizing the truth of his words.

I was like Ayame- I tried so hard every day to appease Yuki, make him love me again, but nothing worked. Still, I never gave up.

_That doesn't entail me to be nicer to Ayame though. _I think. I hadn't ignored Yuki for years; I'd been there every day, watching him fall and helping him back up again, while Ayame lived a happy life without us.

_I don't need Ayame… does that mean Yuki doesn't need me? _

OOO

I lie on my bed, my pen scratching over my paper as I paint a story of far away lands where princesses don't need princes to save them, only themselves and maybe a few good friends.

I am calmly writing away when the pain starts.

The pen and paper fall from my hands as my hands go to my eyes, my palms digging into them as I gasp with pain, willing it to end.

Stars explode in my vision; the light is dazzling, but utterly painful; I have a brief vision of a bed stretched out in front of me, a room before me before the pain fades and I am left in the dark again.

I sit in silence, my hands shaking as the joy threatens to overwhelm me. I _saw. _Just a blindingly painful glimpse of my room, but the throbbing headache I now had was worth it for my moment in the light.

_Will it always be like this? A few stolen seconds of sight, only to be thrown right back into my personal dungeon? _I wonder as I rub my temples, savoring the image of the room burned into my brain.

_I need to call Hatori._

OOO

"Hmm." Is all Hatori can say after I explain my episode to him. "Well, the pain is probably from the scars healing; though I didn't expect for them to heal." He muses. "This is good, however." He adds and I breathe out in relief. "If you're lucky, you may regain some of your sight."

"Some?" I question. "Yes- after a trauma like that, you'll never have 20/20 vision; in most likelihood, you're going to need glasses at the least, maybe even correcting surgery." He says. "But I'll see again?"

"Maybe. Don't get your hopes up too high- the chances of you gaining your sight back are remote; it's most likely that the episode was just a one-time thing." He is quick to shoot me down and I feel my heart deflate.

"But there's still a chance?" I demand, my voice tinged with desperation. "There's always a chance Rei." Hatori says and I close my still-sore eyes. "Take some painkillers and get some sleep- doctor's orders." He says and I nod, then realize he can't see it and say, "OK. Thanks Hatori." I add quickly. "Good bye." Hatori says, as usual not acknowledging my thanks and hanging up.

"Bye." I grumble, hanging up. "Who was that?" I hear Shigure's voice and don't bother trying to meet his gaze. "Hatori." I say, staring straight ahead. "Oh! Why didn't you let him talk to me?" He whines and I cuff him on the back of his head as I pass, pleased with my aim and glad his voice is loud enough to give me a good indication where his head is.

"No one ever wants to talk to you." I say, a smug smile playing at my lips as I walk away, my head held high as my heart soars with the hope of maybe, one day, I will see again.

**OK, not as angstafluffy this time… I'm pleased with myself ^-^ **

**Oh so many questions- will Rei see again? Will Yuki EVER figure it out? Guess you'll have to wait to find out! *evil laugh***

**See you guys later- please review! I love reviews too much to be healthy- my happiness is one click away! ;)**

**- LOSGAP =D**

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	9. Chapter 9

**OK guys, guess what LOSGAP just now figured out? It's the Year of the Ox! Yay for Haru! *pats Haru on the back* And he's got his own story for him in here- yay ^_^**

**I'm so brilliant, ne? And I found out it was Yuki's year last year! O.O *sob* I can't believe I didn't know it all year! GOMENSAI YUKI!!! *bows in apology***

**Which means Yuki would have danced at the New Years Banquet this year- and Haru is dancing next year. Over thinking a bit much? Maybe. But my mind is in Fruba overdrive because of the two FB stories I'm working on so… yeah. Long rant. I'll let you read now ^_^**

**LOSGAP =D**

I accept the tea cup Hatori has offered me and take a quiet sip, listening as Hatori explains I'll probably never see again and that I shouldn't get my hopes up.

"Well, you're just a regular ray of sunshine, aren't you?" I grumble, setting my cup down. "Hatori, you're blind in your left eye, right?" I ask, staring straight ahead, not bothering to try and look at him.

"Yes." Hatori replies warily, already seeing where this is headed. "And you were blinded from broken glass, correct?"

"Broken pottery, but close." Hatori corrects me. "But we were both injured the same way. You had the same episode I did, didn't you?" I ask him directly. "And you haven't had another one; right? You don't want me to get my hopes up for seeing again like you did, because you think you've already been down that road."

Shocked silence. I turn my eyes towards where I heard his voice come from earlier. "I don't want you protecting me from letdown Hatori." I say quietly. "You don't need to look out for me. I can do that myself; I have for seventeen years." I say, regarding him coolly. "I apologize for sounding cold, but this is my last little sliver of hope. I won't let you steal it from me." I say firmly, standing up and bowing.

"Thank you for letting me in. I can find my own way home." I say and make my exit, feeling bad for being cold to Hatori but wanting so desperately to hold onto this last little shred of hope; hope is all I have left right now.

"Hey." I raise my head at Haru's voice. "Hey yourself." I greet him. "What are you doing here?" He questions, and I hear footsteps as he comes to stand closer. "I came to see Hatori." I say, turning to face him. Right now, I only try and pretend I can see Haru and Yuki; they're the only two people I want to think of me as normal.

"Why?" He asks and in a rush I tell him all about my moment of sight yesterday.

His excitement is tangible. "That's great Rei!" He exclaims. "I hope it'll happen again- Hatori says it probably won't, but-!" My words are cut off with a gasp of pain as a hammer smashes behind my eyes and my eyes fly open wide, glimpsing Haru staring at me with wide, scared eyes as I drop to my knees, trying to drink in the grass, sky, Haru, anything I can before I am smothered in darkness again.

I kneel on the grass, my hands clutching my pounding head as the light fades, the curtains drawing close at the end of the show.

"Damn it." I mutter, my hands shaking as I rub my eyes. "It hurts like hell." I growl, blinking and rubbing my temples. I feel nauseous from the headache but sit tall, wondering if my eyes are pulsing with the throbbing in my head.

"Is it over?" Haru asks, his calm voice soothing the pain slightly as he puts a hand on my shoulder, probably kneeling in the grass beside me. "Yeah." I say, standing up slowly, my legs trembling slightly as Haru gently props me up.

"Should I go get Hatori?" He questions and I shake my head. "Nah, I'm fine." I say, closing my eyes to regain my balance.

"Well how are you going to get home?" Haru asks and a smile lifts the corners of my eyes. "Same way I got here."

_Poof!_

I nicker and nudge Haru. "Thanks for worrying over me but I'm fine." I say. "Hey, want to come with me? I'm sure no one would mind if you stayed for dinner." I invite him over and turn myself towards him, offering him easy access to my back.

_Please. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle Yuki without support. _

"OK. Someone needs to hold your clothes anyway." Haru says, swinging on with ease. "Cool. And Haru, will you guide me if I gallop so I don't crash into anything?" I ask as I turn around to face what I know is the direction home.

"Sure. I don't mind." He says and I breathe out in relief. I hated walking here, but it was too risky to run- Haru knows how much it hurt my pride to ask him for guidance, but he isn't acting all stuck up about it as I neigh and rear up, plunging into a gallop.

I've been teaching Haru to ride ever since we became friends; he sucked at karate but was a moderate equestrian.

By that I mean he only fell off twice on the way there.

As I stop for the second time I snort with barely suppressed laughter. "Honestly Haru, I'm going to have to tie you down." I giggle, pawing a hoof and swishing my tail.

Haru growls in response, not amused by the bruise he is most likely going to get wherever her landed, and we're off again.

Haru doesn't scream "Left! Right!" like I had worried he would; instead he leans in the direction I should go so I don't hit a tree on the trail leading to home. I'm a bit annoyed that he is treating me like a bicycle, but I can't blame him for not knowing how to steer correctly. Even if he has been riding for years.

Haru leans back and I slow, pricking my ears forward as we act casual. I flare my nostrils, scenting the wind and pricking my ears forward to see what everyone is doing.

A scent of fresh clothes; a flap of fabric. Tohru must be hanging the laundry. Yelling; scent of sweat and faint acrid tang of blood. Yuki and Kyo are fighting. Click of keys, smell of coffee; Shigure is in his office writing.

I'm pleased I have figured this all out with just two senses and have a little prance in my step as I drop Haru off by the front steps (literally; a little rear and the boy slid off. I think I may have ruined his pants after all the falls) and gallop into the woods to change.

OOO

**A/N: This next bit is in Haru's POV! WHOOT FOR THE OX! xD**

I'm not sure how I never noticed the way Rei takes Yuki's cold treatment.

I have always thought of Rei as strong, unbreakable; I see her as the girl who got hit by a bus and then stood right back up, not shedding a tear, not one cry of pain as she carried a burden home.

I see her as the girl who took her newfound handicap bravely, not leaning on others for help, preferring to hide her weakness rather then seek pity.

But as I look at her now, I see a very fragile looking girl who takes every stinging, biting comment, but never offers a comeback and instead takes her pain in silence.

It's in the Horse's nature, I suppose. Horses are independent, never seeking help, and they take their pain and burdens quietly, no complaints.

But as I watch Yuki cut her down effortlessly, the little Rat beating down the mighty Horse I feel myself inching towards the end of my rope.

"Has Akito said anything about enrolling you in public school?" Shigure asks and I stiffen, staring at the knowing look in his eye. Rei has already told me he and Tohru know; I believe I am witnessing a glimpse into Shigure's darker side.

"He hasn't." Rei says, her hackles rising and for a moment I glimpse the true Rei; she never backs away from a fight and knows when she's being challenged.

"Good. I'm not sure you would have fit in there; you seem to have trouble fitting in anywhere, don't you?" Yuki questions and Rei, having sat tall and stoic all throughout dinner, winces ever so slightly, more pain in her eyes then I saw even when she was lying broken and bloody in the middle of a road.

Something inside me snaps.

I leap up to my feet so quickly I nearly knock over the table and everyone looks up in shock as I snatch Yuki up by his collar, dragging him up until we are face to face, giving into my Black side.

"Damn it Yuki, if one more word comes out of your mouth I'll fucking kill you!" I snap. "You need to shut the hell up- if you had any damn clue what she goes through, every damn day, you'd be singing a different tune- you have _no idea _what she has done for you!"

I can't stop now; not even as I look at Rei's eyes, begging me to stop, and Yuki's confused ones. So alike, and yet so different.

"She's _blind, _jack ass! She hasn't seen a damn thing since that accident and you keep treating her like shit!" I snarl. Yuki's eyes widen in shock and I drop him when I hear Rei stand.

I barely catch a glimpse of her long red hair as she vanishes from the room, and I hear the sound of footsteps and a slam of a door.

I walk away from the stunned room; Kyo looks completely shocked, since he and Yuki are the only ones who haven't known the secret.

I go to Yuki's room and reach for the knob, discovering it is locked.

"Rei?" I question. No response. I listen closely and hear a quiet sob.

My Black side fades, leaving me tired as I lean my forehead against the door, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry." I say quietly, and she makes no indication she has heard me.

_What have I done? _I wonder, wishing I could take back what I said. Still, Yuki had needed to hear it- in a way I wouldn't have taken my words back.

"Is it true?" I turn around at Yuki's voice. He's leaning against the wall of the hallway, locking me in place with his eyes, violet fire.

"Yeah." I sigh, slumping against the door. "It's true. She lost her vision in the bus accident." I say quietly. Yuki closes his eyes.

"All this time… she's been completely blind?" He asks, his eyes opening. "Yeah." I say, deciding not to bother telling him about her two glimpses of sight.

"I can't believe I never noticed." He shakes his head, blinking in shock. "I should have known… she's my _sister. _I should have been the first to figure out something was wrong." He rubs his hand over his face.

"You should have." I accuse him. "What's wrong with you Yuki? You treat her like garbage- what I want to know is why?" I step closer to him, wanting answers.

Yuki doesn't answer me and walks over to the door. "Rei?" He knocks once. "Can I come in?"

There is a silence. To my surprise the door opens a crack and Yuki glances over his shoulder at me. "Good bye Haru." He says, a clear dismissal to go home, and shuts the door behind him.

I stare at the door in silence, wondering if Yuki and Rei are finally going to be able to talk it out, but I will probably never know.

Slowly, I turn around and leave.

**What does Yuki say to Rei? Does he feel bad? Will he apologize? Guess you'll have to wait till the next chapter to find out! *evil laughter***

**I'm so mean- and I love it! ^_^**

**Though Yuki needed a good kick in the rear, if you ask me. *nod* I love him like crazy, but still. He was too mean. (Even if I put the words in his mouth)**

**I apologize for Haru's language- normally I hate cussing, but if Haru hadn't cursed his Black Haru would have been too quiet and unrealistic, so… yeah. **

**Anyways, I hope you guys liked it! Please, pretty please review and tell me what you thought!**

**LOSGAP =D**

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	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! If you're hoping for a lovey-dovey "I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU!" Fest between Rei and Yuki, you're out of luck! *laugh***

**It'd be kind of stupid to bring them together just like that over Rei's blindness; it's kind of like when Tohru imagines Kyo and Yuki being best friends and apologizing to each other. Ha ha ha ha ha hahahah…. NO.**

**LOSGAP =D**

I lock the door behind me and collapse onto my bed, pressing my face into my pillow and wishing the house would fall on top of me or something. _Anything _other then Yuki's pity.

_Damn it Haru! I hate you! _I thought with a quiet sob. I hear a knock at the door and Haru's voice and scowl, refusing to acknowledge I've heard him.

I raise my head at the quiet murmuring voices outside and realize Haru's talking to someone. Someone knocks and I hear "Rei? Can I come in?" I freeze. Yuki?

I stand up and unlock the door, opening it a crack and going back to my bed, lying down with my back turned to Yuki as I stare ahead into the infinite blackness.

I don't want to talk to Yuki, but I know he wants to speak to me so I'm not surprised as he shuts and locks the door behind him, sitting down on my bed.

"Rei…" He sighs, trying to think of something to say. I sit up and stare straight ahead. "Don't apologize Yuki." I say quietly. "I don't want your pity. Why do you think I kept it a secret?" I ask, turning to him, wishing I could see the expression on his face.

"I am sorry though." Yuki says softly, and for a moment I can't believe my ears. "I should have seen something was wrong… for that, I'm sorry."

So, he obviously isn't going to apologize for being an ass.

"Don't be." I say, trying to keep my patience in check. "I probably should have told you anyway. Who was I kidding, trying to keep something that big a secret?" I snort. "What happened to the days when we told each other _everything_; we were closer then twins. What happened?" I ask, thinking wistfully of our youth; it almost hurts to know those days will never come back.

Yuki is silent; I wonder if he knows why and turn my face towards him. "Yuki, we need to talk." I say quietly.

"I'm not so sure we do." Yuki replies and I stiffen. "No Yuki, you need to listen." I say. I'm ready; I need to tell him what I've done for him. He needs to know. Maybe, if he knows, then we could go back to how it used to be.

I lean forward, feeling like I'm on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall. My heart is going twice its usual speed and I break out in a sweat.

But that can't be normal; I'm a little nervous, but excited too- why am I acting like I'm waiting for Akito to come "educate me"?

"Are you all right?" Yuki asks and I blink repeatedly, realizing I'm shaking so hard I can't speak.

"Yu-Yuki…" I stutter, reaching a hand out to him just as fireworks explode in my vision; I have a brief glimpse of Yuki's frightened expression, but it is distorted; the room is spinning, and I find myself tilting.

"Rei!" Everything slows down as I fall; Yuki barely manages to catch me and lower me to the floor before the darkness smothers me, and I am dragged down into its depths, silently screaming for help as Yuki's terrified eyes fade from my vision.

OOO

I am halfway out the door when I hear Yuki call for help upstairs.

Without a second thought I turn right back around, taking the stairs four at a time and am at Yuki's room instantly; I try the knob, but he has locked the door again. I lift my foot and kick it with all my strength; the door flies open in an explosion of splinters and I shield my eyes for a second before running in to see what is wrong. I take the scene in quickly, resorting to my usual expressionless, emotionless façade to keep myself calm as I realize something is terribly wrong with Rei.

"Call Hatori." I order Yuki as I crouch down next to Rei, stretched out on the floor, her eyes closed. "Rei? Can you hear me?" I question as Yuki runs from the room to get Shigure.

"Oh no! Is she OK?!" Tohru is in the doorway, Kyo right behind her. "What can I do to help?" She asks, wringing her hands as she looks at me, her blue eyes wide with terror. Behind her Kyo is silent, his face unreadable.

I don't respond; what could she do?

My thoughts stop as Rei jerks beside me, her limbs twitching uncontrollably into a full-blown seizure.

"What the hell is going on?" Kyo demands, shocked as I attempt to restrain her before she hurts herself. Yuki ducks back in, his usual calm demeanor threatening to be destroyed as he stares down at Rei. "Hatori said to call an ambulance; they're on their way." He says as he crouches down next to me, pinning her arms down.

Rei's shaking fades; it can't have lasted more then a minute, but it was enough to leave both Yuki and I breathless with fear.

"What happened?" I ask Yuki quietly. "I don't know…" He says, shaking his head and staring at Rei with wide eyes. "One second she was fine, then the next…" He trails off

I look up as we see flashing red lights in the room, coming from the window. "They're here." Yuki lets out a sigh of relief, bowing his head. "I'll go show them where the room is." Tohru says, still shaken up as she walks out of the room. Kyo hesitates, glancing down at us before following her; I don't blame him for not wanting to be in the same room as us.

Yuki and I are forced to stand back as the paramedics, carrying a backboard with them, place it down on the floor next to Rei.

Shigure stands in the doorway, speaking with one paramedic as he informs them of her medical history; no, she doesn't have any allergies to medications; no, she isn't on anything…

Everything falls silent as I watch them wrap a neck collar around her neck, fastening it in place and running a strip of medical tape over her forehead and under her chin, taping it to the bright orange backboard, keeping her head firmly in place as they fasten her down to the board.

"1, 2, 3." They lift her up and place her on the cot, lifting it up and I watch in silence as they carry Rei away; there is a ringing silence in my ears as we are all silent; everyone goes after them to watch them place her in the ambulance but Yuki and I, who sit silently on Rei's bed, watching the lights flash around the room until we hear a siren and they fade, leaving us in the dark.

I begin to understand how Rei must feel, sitting in pitch-blackness with Yuki. Neither of us speaks; we're too stunned by the night's events.

I close my eyes, praying to God that somehow she would be OK.

OOO

We sit in silence in a waiting room with poor taste in magazines, all outdated by about three years.

Yuki sits next to me, his chin in his palm as he stares ahead while I flip through the endless stack, trying to think about anything other then what was really going on.

"Here. Entertain yourself." I say, handing Yuki the nearest magazine. He looks between it and me and raises an eyebrow.

"Parenting?" He questions and I blink. "Huh. Oops." I shrug, putting it back. I lean back, looking over at him in concern. He's said barely anything the entire time we've been here, which is saying something; we've been here for hours. It had to be past three in the morning- Shigure had taken a half-asleep Tohru home at around midnight, and he'd stayed home to get his "beauty sleep", the lazy bastard. Kyo hadn't even come with- he hadn't wanted to be locked up with Yuki and I for hours.

"Hey man, she's going to be OK." I say, convicted that Rei won't let anything keep her down for long. Yuki glances over at me then away.

Our awkward silence is broken as Hatori comes over, and asks to speak with me; immediately I think I've done something wrong as we walk a bit further down the hall, well out of earshot.

"Do you know what happened?" I ask him quietly and he turns to me, his face grave. "In the accident, Rei sustained a major concussion; a result in that was a swelling in a blood vessel, called an aneurysm. I am not sure what happened tonight, but she was under a great amount of stress- it may have been all the stress building up on her lately, given her current situation, but most likely whatever stressful thing happened tonight made her aneurysm rupture."

I slump against the wall, my hand over her eyes. I took health class; I knew what a blown aneurysm could do to a person. And I had caused it- I'd been that stressful thing to her tonight.

_This is all my fault. _

"Lucky for her, it was a small one. She'll survive." Hatori says and I look up at him. "But is she going to have any… side effects?" I final ask and he hesitates. "I'm not sure yet; it's too early to tell." He says. I am silent; my blood is roaring in my ears as I realize that whatever happens to Rei is all my fault.

_Whatever comes out of this, I'm going to be there for her, every step of the way. She's been there for everyone- it's about time someone stepped up to be there for her. _I think determinedly.

"Why haven't you told Yuki?" I ask suddenly as we stand in silence, neither of us offering something to say.

"Because most likely he'll choke the life out of me getting the full details, but I don't know them yet- I'll wait until I know more before telling him." He explains and I nod. That would be Yuki- whether he hated her or not, Rei was still his sister, and he'd want to know what was going on. If that was Ayame in there, I was sure he'd be the same way. Whether Yuki realizes it or not, he still cares.

"So why did you tell me?" I raise my head and regard him curiously. "Because," Hatori says. "She wants to talk to you."

**CLIFFHANGER! *insane laughter***

**I know, I suck. But cliffhangers are so fun to write. Even if they suck to read. **

**Yeah this chapter was scary to write- I bet each and every one of you was expecting a lovey-dovey fluffy chapter, but of course I couldn't just do that, now could I? ;D**

**Anyways, I hope you guys loved it! Please, please review and let me know what you thought!**

- LOSGAP =D

**PS.**

**Two things to say!**

**First: If you guys like Naruto, please check out my bbf/sissy's new Naruto story, "Akatsuki Apprentices!" It's a really great chapter, but she won't post anymore until she gets 5 reviews! WHICH MEANS I CAN'T READ ANYMORE SO PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! **

**It's under my fave stories so go check it out! :D**

**Second: Speaking of my sissy, I've started a NEW FRUITS BASKET STORY! WHOOTNESS! **

**What does she have to do with it? I'm glad you asked! She co-stars! 'Nightengale'Serenade'93 is Keera, while I am Hana- it's going to be a blast for me to write, so I hope you'll join us in the insanity!**

**Go check it out at some point! ;)**

**That's all for now! TTFN!**

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	11. Chapter 11

**Yeah, I know I suck at not telling Yuki yet- no need to yell at me though! *ducks various kunai, shuriken, and other ninja weapons* Yeesh, where do you keep all that stuff?!**

**Enough of the death threats- on to the chapter!**

**LOSGAP =D**

**OOO**

I hesitate outside the door, feeling like a child at the principal's office, and cautiously open the door.

Rei is sitting up in her bed, leaning against the propped up pillow and staring out the window nearby. I wonder if she knows she's looking at a window or doesn't know or care.

"Hi Haru." She says quietly without turning around. I wonder how she knows it was me and approach with caution, becoming more nervous at how quiet she is by the second.

"I'm sorry for blurting it out like that." I say sincerely as I stand at the foot of the bed, attempting to see if there are any sharp objects in her reach.

"I know." She replies. "I'm sorry for causing a commotion." She says. She turns to me before I can protest, a small smile on her lips.

"You know you're a pest when you make someone's brain explode." She teases and I blink, realizing I'm in the clear.

"So you don't blame me?" I ask anxiously, sitting down next to her. She frowns, her sightless eyes puzzled. "Why would I?"

_Because it's all my fault you nearly died. _

"Forget about it; but listen to me Rei, I promise I'll make it up to you." I assure her. She laughs. "There's nothing to make up." She says.

_Yes there is; I swear to you Rei, I'll protect you from now on. I'm sorry I wasn't there before. _

If only Rei knew how much I wished I could have stepped in for her when Akito took her away, how much I had wanted to set her free. But I was a coward; and I hated myself for it.

My Black side was getting worse with the pent-up guilt, but when she was around I could usually keep it locked up.

But when I had seen her torn down I had thrown the gates wide and let myself loose. And by doing so, I'd nearly killed her.

_What will happen if I snap again?_

OOO

"Are you better Rei?" Tohru asks me as I come inside. "I'm fine." I reply, heading upstairs, desperately wanting to lie down.

I've been in the hospital a week, finally released today. They kept me to make sure there're no side effects, other then a migraine that laughs at Advil.

I lay flat on my back on my bed, listening to my heartbeat pounding in my head, feeling like my eyes are bulging out with each beat.

Needless to say, I was in agony.

What else would you expect after a mini brain explosion?

So I was a bit peeved when Haru came in and asks me to come downstairs. I turn my head and give him a look that would melt steel.

"Come on!" He insists, unfazed as he drags my hand out the door and down the stairs. I feel a gust of wind and blink slowly, realizing I'm outside.

"Haru, what are you…" I am interrupted by him dragging me off a bit further. "Trust me." He says and I sigh, hating how easily I trust him.

He takes my hand and I immediately feel a wave of rage that he has to guide my hand for anything, but my thoughts are dispelled when I feel cool, smooth wood under my hand.

"A welcome home present." Haru says as I run my hands over the polished wood, building a mental image of what my present looks like.

A gentle push, and it moves beneath my hand; my breath catches in my chest.

He got me a rocking chair.

"Haru…" I am shocked that he remembered my strange wish and blink repeatedly. "Try it out." Haru says and I nod dumbly, sinking into the chair and leaning back, closing my eyes as I rock back, listening to the comforting creak of the wood.

"Well?" Haru asks eagerly. "It's great." I say warmly. "Where'd you get it?" I ask him, feeling my headache ease, just a bit.

"Woodshop." If I had my eyes, I know I would have seen Haru grin. "You _made_ this?" I froze in rocking and gaped.

"A-." Haru says happily. "It was that or a pizza paddle." He added. "I figured since we're Japanese and don't really eat pizza…" He trails off and I laugh as I stand up and envelop him in a hug.

"Thank you." I say. "No problem." Haru says, giving me a brief hug back. "Now enjoy it- Hatori said fresh air is good for your headache anyway. And I gotta go, so see you." Haru says and I nod, lifting my hand in a wave as I sink back gratefully into my chair.

I wish I could see the expression on his face as he leaves.

OOO

I look over my shoulder and smile at Rei rocking contentedly in her new chair. I'm ecstatic that I was the one who put that content smile on her face, that peaceful, lineless expression on her now smooth cheeks. I wanted to see her like that more often.

_Thought that'd make you happy. _I thought, smiling faintly as I rode away.

OOO

I fall asleep in the chair, and manage to escape from my dark, painful world for a moment and find myself reliving better days.

Most of them are Yuki and I as children, playing together without a care in the world, but a few are more recent- racing the moon, finding out I was finally getting out of that hole, Haru and I lost together in the woods- even though I'd been annoyed with him, it had been fantastic to get away for a while.

When I wake up, it's reverse of what other people have- they usually escape the darkness behind closed lids and open their eyes to light, but I open my eyes to darkness, trapped in it at every step.

"Dinner's ready Rei-chan." I recognize Tohru's voice and nod as I get up, stretching the kink out of my neck from falling asleep for so long.

"OK. I'm coming." I yawn, stumbling after her.

OOO

"The lake house?" I repeat, dumbstruck. Shigure wants to take us to the _lake house?_

"Besides, I finally get to go on vacation with Tohru!" Shigure says happily, ignoring me. "AH! Me?! I can't possibly go! That would be too much!" She starts protesting immediately.

"Oh, but I didn't get to the Hot Springs, and I was _so _looking forward to going with you…" Shigure laments.

"OK! I'll go then!" Tohru says, eager to please and Shigure shuts up immediately. "Have you no shame?" Kyo and Yuki ask in unison.

"Not really, no." Shigure replies. "I'll drive you guys tomorrow!" He says happily.

"Do you even have a license?" I demand, crossing my arms.

There are a few moments of silence, then Shigure finally says, "Of course I do!"

"Why'd you have to think about it?" I muttered, not really looking forward to going to the lake house.

OOO

In the end, Hatori had to drive us- I immediately felt bad for him. But, he took it as an opportunity to check on me, of course.

I'm the only one besides Akito who seems to need his medical attention often.

I lounge on the couch, frowning up at the ceiling, idly listening to Shigure trying to frighten everyone with tales of "Jason."

"Jason… Jason. Why does that name sound familiar?" Kyo wonders aloud. "He's a huge bear that lives by the lake, though I'm sure you didn't know that." Shigure replies and I can almost feel the electricity in the air as Kyo snarls, "I knew that!"

"No you didn't." Hatori says flatly.

"Anyways, why are we even talking about this?" Kyo mutters. "Good point- we could use someone to lighten the mood for us. I know! I'll call Aya!" Shigure says happily.

Yuki and I are at the phone in a moment.

"If you call him…" Yuki growls.

"I'll make you eat that phone." I finish for him, hearing Shigure whimper with fear with some satisfaction.

I make a mental note of thanking Ayame; at least he was a common enemy, the one time Yuki and I join forces. Together, we are a fearsome pair.

"Anyways, why don't you guys do something productive and take Tohru and Rei for a walk?" Shigure suggests and I bristle.

"What am I, a dog?!" I snarl, furious at the idea of being led around a forest I can't even see. "I don't mind going alone!" Tohru says and of course, Yuki and Kyo agree to take her.

"I'll go." I sigh, getting up. Anything other then being trapped with Shigure.

OOO

There is a tense silence, and I find myself wondering just what I missed in the past week- apparently a lot. Haru told me Ayame came to visit and that the first year of Tohru's mom's death came.

_Hmm. Wonder if something bad happened at the cemetery. _I wonder as we walk in silence. I don't try to start a topic; I'm too busy trying to make sure I don't trip over anything.

"I'm sorry!" Tohru blurts suddenly and I come to a halt with the others; their puzzlement radiates off of them in waves, so I know they're just as confused as me.

"What's wrong Miss Honda?" Yuki questions and I frown, wondering why he can't just call her by her name already. _Guess it'd be embarrassing to suddenly start calling her by her name now. _I realize.

During my thoughts I realize I've missed everything Tohru has said and try to look alert and concerned, since that's what everyone else seemed to be feeling.

I hear a footstep and Kyo's voice, but before I bring myself to pay attention he cries out in shock and there is a loud thump.

_Clumsy cat. _I roll my eyes as Tohru asks if he's OK.

"Damn it, I'm fine! Just stepped in a hole." Kyo growls, and Tohru gasps in horror. "That looks like a paw print… it's Jason!" She shrieks.

"Jason?! Where?!" The thick-headed Kyo exclaims, panic rolling off of the two of them.

"It's not Jason." Yuki and I say in unison, and I feel him glare at me, as though I did that on purpose. Tohru is doing that thing she does when over-excited; senseless babbling and bouncing all around.

_She keeps that up and she's going to fall right into that ditch. _I thought just as Tohru's voice is cut off in shock.

"Miss Honda!" Yuki disappears from my side in a burst of air and I admire his speed as Kyo cries, "Watch out!" as he leaps with him.

I hurry over to the edge, pulling back when my foot slips over the edge. "Everyone OK down there?" I ask, having heard the explosions.

I hear Tohru sobbing she's sorry and I sigh quietly. "Don't be hard on her boys- listen, I'm just going home." I say, turning around.

No one says anything; Kyo's screaming at Yuki, and Tohru's too busy crying to hear me. Yuki has barely said a word to me since I got back- I haven't tried to breach the subject with him again; I'm waiting for the right moment.

"See you." I mutter, stalking back to the house.

OOO

"REI!" I shriek as I am suddenly tackled in a hug from a very obnoxious person. "Oh I heard about your eyes! I'm so sorry Rei! But big brother is here to save you!" He exclaims, twirling me around as I kick and scratch like a wildcat to free myself.

"Shigure…" I growl, knowing he must have called the stupid Snake, who is still trying to latch onto me, exclaiming about how he was going to be my guide as long as there was breath in his body.

"Hey, why is the blame instantly on me?" Shigure says innocently and I roll my eyes. "Oi, where's Hatori?" I ask, having not heard the doctor's voice.

"Asleep on the couch." Shigure replies while Ayame clucks about how sad it is I have to ask. A vein on my forehead throbs and I make a point of striding across the room confidentially, no crashing into things, no tripping as I make my way over to where I can hear even breathing, knowing this is where Hatori is sleeping.

_It's so unlike you, to allow yourself to sleep in front of people. _I think. _Well, you're going to catch a cold- you're the doctor, you should have known that. _I think with a slight smile as I grab a blanket and drape it over him.

"Rei that's so kind of you! You'll make a great wife someday!" Ayame exclaims. "Damn it, shut up!" I snap, stalking up the stairs. "I'm going to bed early." I say curtly. "_No one _disturb me."

OOO

The next day, when I'm finally hungry enough to venture downstairs, I wait until I hear Ayame, Hatori and Shigure to move out onto the deck before sneaking downstairs, grabbing something to eat and making my way outside.

I'm in too much of a hurry to escape the house and bump into Kyo, who of course is not very forgiving. "Watch where you're going!" He snaps. I shrug, not bothering to apologize.

"Yuki! Rei!" The air around us turns to frost as Yuki and I hear Ayame call our names and run down the steps to us.

I can sense new confidence rolling off of him and turn around slowly, wondering which of his friends had given him a pep-talk, or if he'd been watching Oprah as he runs up.

"Yuki and Rei, as your older brother I order you to respect me!" He booms and I blink in shock, then smirk.

Yuki and I each get a few punches in before there is a _poof!_ And I let Yuki take care of the rest, since I can't find him.

There is a sound like Yuki is twirling him over his head, in which case I am quite proud of him, when it ends abruptly.

"Oops." Yuki says dryly. "What happened?" I ask, too curious to be annoyed I can't see it. "He threw him straight out to the lake." Kyo snickers and I grin.

"Nice one." I say and Yuki makes no reply. My smile remains in place though; Ayame got put into his place. That makes this rather strange vacation worth it.

OOO

**Argh. Writer's block. One thing I've found is when I have no ideas, I just insert my characters into an episode. Since the lake house episode is probably one of my faves, I chose that one ^_^**

**I do have a ton of ideas for later chapters, though I sense angst coming. You have been warned. **

**Anyways, I hope you guys liked it! Please review and remember to keep your reviews clean and non-threatening, ne? **

**LOSGAP =D**

5


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **

Hey guys! Not much to say here- I like this format for my author's notes better since it doesn't look like I'm screaming at you, like it does in bold XD

Any who, please read and review! Please and thank you!

LOSGAP =D

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My eye twitches as I glare at the table, getting more annoyed with the bickering between Shigure and Kyo by the moment.

"I'm going to go see what's taking Yuki and Tohru so long." I say finally, getting up from the table and heading outside, not bothering to grab a jacket, so desperate was I to escape.

I'd had a splitting migraine all day that left me irritable and nauseous, and not patient enough to deal with Kyo and Shigure's bantering.

Besides, Yuki had left to pick up Tohru a half hour ago- it was about a ten-minute walk home, but I used the extra unaccounted ten minutes as an excuse to worry.

I lift my head up when I hear distant voices, immediately recognizing Yuki's.

"…no really, it was just an accident Miss Honda. I'm changed back, anyway." I smile a bit and pick up the pace, knowing Tohru probably made him phase by accident, hence the delay.

"Hey guys." I greet them as I trot up. "How was work Tohru?"

"Great!" Tohru says happily. "Why are you here?" Yuki asks, puzzled. "Needed to get out of the house so I figured I'd come and see you home." I shrug.

"Well, the more the merrier!" Tohru decides and I smile, falling into step beside her as we walk in relative silence.

I slide my feet ahead, feeling for roots, stones, etc, as I walk, wary of the uneven trail. My head throbs painfully with each step; maybe going for a walk was a bad idea. Every step is agony; I just want to go lay down.

"Rei-chan, are you OK? You look a little pale." Tohru says worriedly, coming to a stop. I stumble to a halt and blink.

"Um… yeah. I'll be right back." I say and stumble hurriedly into the trees, dizziness finally overwhelming my stomach. I find a spot a good distance from the trail and double over, my stomach turning inside out.

"Just great." I mutter when I finish, straightening and swallowing hard, trying to stifle another bout of sickness. I am about to go back, when I realize something.

I have no idea where I am.

_Damn it! _I think, staring furiously at the dark, not knowing which direction the trail is. _I am _not _going to call for help like a lost little kitten. _I turn myself around slowly, taking a cautious step forward.

"Well, look what we got here!"

I whirl around so fast I stumble, and am caught by two large hands. "Where you going sweetheart?" A rough voice asks in my ear.

"Shit, she's got awful breath!" He says as he turns me around, pinning me against a tree. "Well, good thing I won't be kissing you too much." He snickers and I struggle harder, though I can't do much with his body pinning me down and my arms held firmly against my side.

"Hurry up, will you? It's my turn next." Another voice says impatiently and I shriek at the top of my lungs. "Oh, a screamer eh?" The man laughs as I lunge forward, slamming into his body as I try to break away. He laughs again, grabbing my shirt and ripping it clean down the middle.

"A fighter too! I like it rough." He jeers as he shoves me back and I land into a thorn bush, screaming myself hoarse as I kick and claw, fighting in the dark and not getting many punches in, only managing to dig thorns into my back, hands, everywhere.

"Get your paws off my sister!"

If I hadn't have heard that voice for sixteen years, I wouldn't have recognized Yuki's voice, shaking with rage when he is suddenly there.

The man on top of me is suddenly gone, and all I can hear is swearing and the sickening thud of muscle against muscle.

I'm confused by how long it's taking Yuki to dispatch of these men- normally Yuki could have taken them down before they knew he was there, but the sounds of fighting are rough and raucous, as though he's too angry to fight cleanly.

The fighting comes to a stop, and I hear footsteps coming closer. A hand touches my shoulder and I immediately shrink away with a small whimper, memories of large, groping hands overwhelming me.

"It's OK. It's just me." Yuki says gently. "Are you OK?" He asks me and I hesitate, then offer a shaky nod. "You're bleeding." He says, still in that quiet, gentle voice. "I know." I grunt as I struggle to get myself out of this mess, tearing my clothes even further.

"Here." Yuki wraps an arm around my waist and easily lifts me out of the bushes and I lean against him. "Thank you." I say quietly. "If you hadn't had been here…"

"Don't think about that." Yuki replies and I try hard not to, but I know I'll have nightmares for a long time about what almost happened to me.

"Are they alive?" I wonder and Yuki is oddly silent. "They should be." There is a quiet thud, as though he's kicking something, then a soft groan. "Yeah they're alive." Yuki shrugs against me.

"Where's Tohru?" I question as Yuki helps me step over the men and through the forest. "When I heard you calling I sent her home to call the police. Shigure's always said there're creeps out here, but I always thought he was kidding." Yuki says and I breathe out in relief that Tohru doesn't have to see me like this.

Yuki steps away from me and there is a silence, then I feel a jacket placed over my shoulders and pull it closed, whispering a thanks.

We walk in silence; I can feel a growing numbness creeping over me, blocking out the pain of the thorns lodged firmly in my back and arms, my mind shutting down to protect me from the memories of his hands, his voice, his laughter…

"We're here." Yuki says softly and I nod, feeling the step with my foot. "Did you call them?" Yuki asks the minute we step inside.

"I did- they're on their way! Oh, Rei you're hurt! You too Yuki!" I freeze at this as Tohru hurries over. "How bad is it?" I demand sharply, my numbness melting away at the thought of Yuki getting hurt defending me.

"It's just a scratch." Yuki mutters and I hear laughter. "Damn, Yuki! Who have you that shiner?" Kyo snickers. "You're just mad you can't give me one." Yuki replies and I jerk my head back in time to dodge Kyo's fist.

"I'm going to take a bath." I tell Tohru quietly, and without waiting for a response I head upstairs to try and scrub away the feeling of his hands on me.

OOO

I'm disappointed in Yuki for picking a fight with Kyo again, but I should know his kind side wouldn't keep itself out for too long.

So when I come back into our room, feeling only a little better, I am surprised when I hear Yuki's voice. "Feeling better?" He asks me quietly and I nod.

"There are some thorns in my back I can't reach though." I admit as I sit down on my bed, making another effort at trying to reach them. I've managed to get out all in my arms and hands, and they'll definitely sting for a few days but it's better then letting them fester.

"Is Tohru asleep?" I question him. "Yeah." Yuki replies and my shoulders sag with disappointment. _I'll just sleep on my stomach tonight and ask for her help tomorrow. _I decide as I lay down on top of my blanket, pressing my cheek against my pillow and closing my eyes.

Normal people would probably have flash-backs of their traumatic experience, but since it's the same when my eyes are open or shut, I don't, thank goodness.

The bed next to me sinks slightly and I open my eyes again, wondering what Yuki wants. "Want me to get those out?" He asks me quietly and I blink slowly, trying to realize this is all real.

"Sure." I say finally and stretch out a little better. Yuki's my brother; I'm not embarrassed to pull my shirt up and reveal my lower back; I wouldn't have done it for Kyo, and would have punched Shigure in the face for asking, but Yuki is family.

When I expose the small amount of back Yuki sucks in a breath. "What?" I ask him warily, wondering how bad it is. It doesn't hurt that much; was he alarmed at the blood or something? I had removed most of it, I thought.

In response, Yuki's cool fingers gently push my shirt up further, giving him a better view of whatever the hell he's looking at.

"What has he _done _to you?" Yuki breathes in shock and I stiffen. He's seen the scars.

"Education." I shrug. Yuki is silent, trailing his fingers over my scars a moment before he pulls out a thorn and I relax a bit with relief to be rid of it.

"Why do you put up with it?" He asks me suddenly. "I mean, why on Earth do you stay with him? Why do you spend all your time with him, waiting on his every want? It's _disgusting, _the way you follow him around." He says and I blink, realizing the revealing moment has finally come. I turn my head a bit so he can hear me better.

"…I did it for you, Yuki." I say quietly. Yuki's hand, about to pull out another thorn, freezes. "I made a deal with him; if I became his pet, and took every beating meant for you, he'd leave you alone. That's why you escaped, Yuki. That's why you got to come here." I wait for a reaction, for flying accusations, anger, something.

"You…" His voice sounds strangled. "You did all that… for _me?_"

"Of course I did." I reply. "You're my brother, and I love you. And I'd do it all again, even if you still hate me for it." I say firmly. And I would; I'd get hit by that damn bus again for him.

"Rei…" Yuki is speechless, a rarity for him. "I'm sorry." Yuki says softly. I raise my head a bit, surprised. "I'm sorry I've been so awful; I was angry with you." He admits.

"Why?" I ask, anxious to know exactly why Yuki has hated me so much lately. "…I felt like you had abandoned me." He says quietly. "I confronted Shigure about why you weren't allowed to come with me here once; he said that you chose to stay with Akito of your own free will, and hadn't wanted to come with me." He says.

_That bastard. _

"I don't even want to know why Shigure would say such a thing, other then for his own sick amusement." I growl. "Do me a favor and beat him senseless tomorrow, will you?"

"With pleasure." Yuki replies and I laugh. "I'm glad we got all this out." I say. "Mmm." Yuki agrees, going back to pulling out thorns with quick little jerks that barely sting.

"I'm sorry you thought I abandoned you." I murmur. "But I promise you; I am _not _abandoning you again." I say fiercely.

Yuki is silent for a while; he doesn't speak until he pulls out the last thorn and I stretch with relief, sitting up and rolling my shoulders to work out the kinks in my back.

I'm more then shocked when Yuki suddenly wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a nearly crushing embrace; I hug him back, resting my cheek on the top of his head.

"Don't leave me again." Yuki's voice is muffled in my shirt. "I won't." I promise him, holding him tighter.

"I swear to you Yuki; I'm never, ever leaving you again." I say firmly.

Suddenly I don't care about what happened tonight; I don't care that I was so close to being destroyed like that, but now I'm almost glad for it- it brought Yuki and I back together. Now that everything was out in the open, we could try and cross that giant cavern yawning between us.

They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step- tonight, I think Yuki and I made a giant leap onto that journey together.

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**Author's Note: **I figured it was about time Yuki and Rei stopped fighting- it made me so sad to write mean things for him to say to her :(

But now that is over! Only question is… where does the plot go from here? Guess you'll have to wait till next time to figure it out! :D

Did you guys think it was corny? I thought it was a bit, but I liked it- it was better then angst *laugh*

Any way, please leave a review! I love reading your feedback!

- LOSGAP =D

3


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **

Greetings, my wonderful readers! ^-^

I'm quite pleased that Rei and Yuki are friends again- it hurt me to write fights between them. But now that's over! Yay!

Any way, please read and review!

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A sleepy growl escapes my throat when I realize that, in fact, it is morning.

Still half-asleep I sit up and blink sleepily, yawning as I rub my eyes, trying to bring myself out of my dreams.

_That was an amazing dream… Yuki actually hugged me… it's too bad that's all over now. _I think sadly as I stretch.

"Morning." Yuki grunts sleepily and I blink in surprise; for a moment I can't remember if I'm awake, but then memories flood my brain and my shoulders sag with relief that yes, that wonderful dream was all real.

"Morning." I reply, flopping back. "I'm not hungry." I say as I close my eyes again. I hear the sound of shuffling footsteps as a barely conscious Yuki drags himself out the door, while I am too lazy to even get out of bed.

I'm not hungry though; I can still feel his hands on me, making goose bumps rise on my skin and my stomach chill.

Food is the last possible thing I want.

I roll over and stare ahead into the darkness, wondering idly when Haru is coming to visit- I miss that Ox. I haven't seen him for a few days.

A while later Yuki comes back to finish getting ready; I sit up when I hear him pick up his bag and tell him to come over.

I hear footsteps and Yuki's confused voice. "What is it?"

"Bend closer to me." I order and I hear a sigh as Yuki obeys. I reach up and gently touch his cheek, searching for the injury he got.

"Really, Rei it's just a scratch…"

I run my thumb over the smooth skin until I find a long, thin line stretching from nose to his left eye- it can't be more then an inch long, but it makes me furious.

"I can't believe he touched you." I seethe, and Yuki gently removes my hand. "Like I said, it's just a scratch. I'm fine." He says and I reluctantly nod, then reach up and put my hands on his chest, my hands searching for his tie.

My lips curve upwards into a smile when I realize that, like always, he's tied it crooked.

"You always were bad at this sort of thing." I smile softly as I fix it; the same as we had every morning before I let him go.

"I'm getting better at it though." Yuki says as I pat it into place. "Yeah, you have. Been practicing?" I ask, smoothing it down.

"Yeah." Yuki's voice has taken on a much softer tone, laced with memories and I blink, wondering if this has anything to do with a certain Miss Honda.

"Well, have a great day at school Yuki." I say. "Mmm." Yuki is no longer here; what I've said has somehow provoked memories in him, and I've lost him as he retreats into his own mind.

Normal people would have been annoyed at being ignored; I, however, am thrilled. Yuki hadn't seemed upset at all when he left- if anything, he'd seemed happy. Blissful, almost. My little Yun-Yun is in love.

OOO

As expected, Haru comes to visit after school with everyone later that day.

"Hey guys! How was school?" I greet them, lounging in my rocking chair as I hear footsteps and talking.

"It was great! Oh, except for…" Tohru hesitates.

"Haru turned Black and destroyed a classroom." Yuki deadpans.

"Nice Haru. Real nice." I roll my eyes. "What was it about this time?"

"He didn't even have a reason!" Kyo exclaims. "Maybe I did, but choose not to say it." Haru says coolly and I throw my hands up in exasperation.

"I give up with all of you. Well, most of you. Haru's being weird, but the rest of you are being OK." I shrug, giving the place where I've heard Haru's voice an annoyed glare.

"Even the Cat?" Yuki snorts and I shrug again. "Hey, I judge people by their character, not their Zodiac. Kyo hasn't acted like a jerk towards me yet, so he isn't bugging me." I reply.

"Thanks... I guess." Kyo says, confused and I smile slightly. I'm a firm believer in not judging people by their Zodiac- if that was true, then I would have a lot of hatred towards people for no apparent reason. I don't see why everyone fights like that over what animal they turn into. It's not like you actually tricked them into not going to the Banquet, or rode on their back there or something- your Zodiac did, not you.

Kyo's all right- he doesn't really talk to me, and I don't really talk to him, but I don't mind him, really. I'm a girl; therefore, he has a grudging politeness towards me. And I'm handicapped- Kyo pretty much can't yell at me.

But now, if he does, Yuki will kick his ass. This is a bit annoying for me that Kyo can never win, but it also pleases me that my brother never loses.

"Well anyway, let's go in the house." I say, and stand up.

My head throbs painfully with the small movement, but I don't show it other then by blinking once as I lead the way inside.

I listen with mild interest to their conversation, hearing the voices of Kyo and Haru steadily escalating and I sigh, knowing a fight is coming on soon.

Sure enough, I can hear Haru doing that weird evil laugh he does when he turns Black, and I roll my eyes with annoyance at his childishness.

"Real mature guys." I snort as I hear Haru cursing Kyo out for no apparent reason and I head outside without a word to anyone, desperate for some quiet to soothe my head.

I stand on the porch, crossing my arms and staring out into the blackness, wondering if the sun is bright today- I think it's sunny out, judging by the way my skin is steadily growing pleasantly warmer in the sun.

"Loud, aren't they?" I hear Yuki leave the house and I nod, not glancing back .I can hear crashing inside; every footstep is like one of them is taking a hammer to my head.

"You OK? You look like you're waiting for a piano to drop on your head." Yuki says, half joking as I hear his footsteps as he comes to stand beside me.

"Headache." I mutter, flinching as someone is put through a wall inside. Yuki is silent for a long moment- I wonder if he's thinking about something when he takes my hand suddenly.

"Come on." He says. "I want to show you something."

OOO

"Where are we?" I ask curiously, realizing we are no longer in the forest, since I can feel sun on my face again.

"My secret base." Yuki replies and I raise my eyebrows. "Like a clubhouse?" I question and he laughs. "No. This is where I go, to get away from everything." He explains.

I am silent, wishing with every fiber of my being that I could see this place.

There must be a God, because He answered my prayers.

My eyes fly open wide with the sudden pain behind them, and I can see a small clearing, and a… vegetable garden?

My eyes flicker over it, taking as much in as I can- it's obviously well taken care of, the plants are tall and healthy, and most look ripe for picking.

"It's beautiful Yuki." I murmur, blinking in disappointment when the light fades away, leaving me with an even worse headache.

"You saw it?" Yuki asks in surprise and I nod. I've already explained my occasional flashes of sight to him, so he is not curious about this but happy.

"Here- want to help me weed?" Yuki asks and I nod eagerly, happy to do anything with him. Just yesterday he was ready to rip out my throat, but now here he was, his hand over mine as he guides it over a weed, closing my fist around it and showing me how to pull it clean out, so no roots are left behind.

We don't speak as we work, merely soaking in the pleasure of each other's company. Family is a strange bond- it is the most powerful, as you are bonded by both blood and love. I've already proved to Yuki I love him more then anyone else; more then anyone else in our family, that was for sure. I was both his best friend and sister- a role I cherish more then anything.

I've missed him so much- little moments like this, where we speak without words. For a moment I don't want to share him with Tohru, but I know Yuki is completely hers, whether he realizes it or not. So, I decide to ask him.

"Yuki," I say quietly. "Do you love Tohru?" Yuki freezes beside me in surprise. He hesitates, obviously unable to think of a denial before he sighs.

"Yes. Very much." He replies, and I have a fierce longing to see the smile I know must be on his face. Wordlessly I turn and hug him to me tightly. "I'm very glad for that." I whisper. "I don't want you to be alone- I want someone to be there for you in ways I can't." I say and his arms tighten around me.

"So do I." He murmurs. "I don't want you to be alone either Rei." He pulls back, though we're still entwined, and I can almost feel his gaze on my face.

"You need to find someone." He says and I sigh. "I don't know if that'll ever happen." I reply, remembering a similar conversation Haru and I had.

"You will." Yuki says firmly. I smile slightly and press my head against his shoulder, letting out a sigh at how good it is to hold him again.

"OK Yuki. I won't give up on that just yet. I promise."

**Author's note:**

Fluff. Yay.

I wanted to have a happy chapter this time around, because dark times are ahead for my little Rei-chan. Very, very dark times.

I owe her one last happy day, no?

Don't start begging me to keep it happy, because I will throw in some light bits (Haru is always good for comic relief) and some YukixRei fluff.

I am warning you though. Savor this fluffy time. Because soon, it will get quite angsty. Yay?

Au revoir!

- LOSGAP =D

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	14. Chapter 14

**Authors Note: **Hey guys! Nothing to say, really. This was hard for me to write, for some reason. -.-

Don't forget I own nothing other then Rei! (Ha ha! Try and catch me now, stinking lawyers!)

LOSGAP =D

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"Ugh." I mutter, reaching up and scratching my eyes again. I think it's the pollen in the air or something- my allergies have been driving me _nutty_ all day. My eyes itch so badly it's all I can do not to claw them right out of my head.

Hence the whole lying in bed all day under the covers, trying to hide from the pollen instead of sitting outside.

"Rei! Dinner's ready!" Tohru calls from downstairs and my stomach rumbles in response. I sit up and rub my eyes again, annoyed that they were wet from those tears you get when your allergies attack- everyone was going to think I was crying.

_Oh _lovely.

I make my way downstairs, proud that I didn't trip over anything as I easily find the dining room, prepared for a comment from Shigure about my tears.

I walk in and hear a cry of "Holy shit!" And a thud, as though someone has fallen over. Kyo, from the sound of the voice.

"I'll call Hatori." Shigure says, and I hear his footsteps as he strides quickly from the room. "What?" I ask irritably, wondering why everyone is panicking.

"How do you not feel that?" Yuki asks, sounding horrified. "Feel what? Is my shirt open or something?" I ask, running my hands to make sure I've buttoned it securely- I have. What is going on?

"You're bleeding Rei-chan! From your eyes!" Tohru's voice quakes with terror and I blink in surprise, reaching up to touch what I thought were tears.

"Huh. That can't be good." I say, a bit surprised. "Of course it can't be good! You're bleeding out of your eyes- how the hell could that be good?!" Kyo, recovering from his initial shock, exclaims.

I must have been quite a sight, walking into the room with blood streaming out my eyes- I don't blame him for being alarmed.

"Hatori says he's on his way, don't panic." Shigure assures everyone when he comes in. "Oh, good." Tohru sighs with relief as I sit down calmly next to Yuki, picking up my chopsticks and beginning to eat.

"What?" I finally say a few minutes later when I realize no one else is eating and is just speechless. "You're awfully calm for someone bleeding out their eyes- shouldn't you go lie down or something?" Yuki suggests gently. "I feel fine- they just itch, that's all. Besides, Hatori will be here soon." I point out.

"Let's hope he can figure out what the hell happened." Kyo remarks.

OOO

"I knew this would happen." Hatori says as he finishes putting the bandage over my eye, and I feel a stab of annoyance that this is just like how it was after the accident.

"That I'd spontaneously start bleeding out of my eyes?" I ask dryly. "As I've said, the reasons for your blindness are wounds in your eyes- the scratches are healing, and with the healing comes scabs- they itch usually, so when you scratched them you picked them off by accident, hence the bleeding." Hatori explains. I raise my eyebrows.

"So they're healing- does that mean…?" I don't finish my sentence.

"Exactly what you think it means- since your eyes are healing, the chances of you gaining your sight back are much greater now." Hatori says, and I feel my heart jump in my chest.

"Really?" I ask, my voice shaking with relief. "Would I lie?" Hatori asks and I shake my head, a little laugh bubbling out of my throat. "When can I take them off?" I ask eagerly. "In a few days- just don't scratch them again, or you'll bleed through the bandages. I've left a few with you so you can change them as necessary- Yuki will help you." He says and I hear my bed squeak as he stands.

"Thank you, Hatori-kun." I say sincerely. "Take care." Hatori replies, as usual not acknowledging my thanks as he leaves.

I can hear Hatori's low, deep voice speaking to someone outside the door- I'll bet anything it's Yuki, waiting to see what's going on since Hatori didn't want anyone in here, since he was going to check on the scratches on my back and torso from the other day.

A few moments later Yuki comes in and I raise my head, grinning happily. "Did he tell you?" I ask eagerly and there is a pause.

I can feel his arms wrap around me in a warm hug and squeeze my arms around him tightly, smiling into his shoulder. I'll never get tired or sick of his hugs- ever. They're a treat, especially since they're rare and usually in private.

"It's fantastic news Rei- I'm happy for you." Yuki says as he pulls back and I grin happily. "I can't wait! I don't know what I'm happier to see- you, the sky, sun, etc. Even seeing Shigure would make me happy." I say and he laughs.

"Well, I guess it'll be a few days, but the wait will be worth it." Yuki says and I groan, flopping back onto my bed. "It's going to be a _long _few days."

OOO

When Hatori comes over to take off my bandages a few days later, Haru comes with him.

"He insisted on being here." Hatori says flatly as I feel Haru's arm wrap around my shoulders. "I am going to be one of the first things she sees." He says stubbornly. I hear footsteps and Haru is immediately gone.

"Hi Haru." Yuki sighs, and I clearly imagine in my mind Haru gliding over to Yuki and tugging on his shirt to get his attention. Haru is so cute when it comes to being with Yuki.

"Well, shall we?" I ask eagerly, plopping down on the couch and pushing my long hair back, my hands shaking with excitement and fear. What if all this hope was for nothing? What if, like I've almost gotten used to, I'll open my eyes to darkness?

"Close your eyes, so they don't get tugged on by the bandages." Hatori orders and I nod, obeying his orders as I feel him carefully peeling away the bandages. I sigh in relief at the fresh air blowing across my hot eyelids and take a deep breath for the big moment as I slow slide my eyes open.

Blackness.

For a minute, I want to cry as I stare ahead into the darkness, wanting to scream and fight, demanding a do-over.

But then I blink, and I can see the corners of my vision getting clearer. I blink again, rubbing my eyes and shaking my head, staring in awe as the light slowly overcomes the dark.

Light.

It makes my head spin with pain, but I can _see_.

The first thing I see is Yuki peering at my face anxiously, Haru right beside him as he squints at my eyes, as though he thinks he'll be able to see if I can see him.

Everything is so different- Yuki has grown a few inches since I saw him last, and so has Haru.

"Well?" Hatori questions and I turn my head, drinking in the doctor as I meet his eyes, my heart threatening to burst with joy.

"I can see." I barely manage to whisper and Hatori's lips curve upwards into a little smile. Suddenly I am up in the air, staring down at Haru in surprise as he lifts me up, grinning happily.

"Haru!" I laugh, pretending to be annoyed with him as the excited Ox spins me in a circle. "Put me down!" He obeys, then crushes me into a bear hug.

"It's so good to be out of the dark." I say, my voice slightly muffled by his shirt. I am having a hard time blinking- I'm terrified if I shut my eyes, I'll re-open them to darkness and see that this was all just a dream.

I lift my head back and look towards Yuki. His violet eyes meet mine, and his entire face brightens as he offers me one of his rare, true Yuki smiles. It takes my breath away.

"It's so good to see you smile again!" I exclaim, gently peeling myself off of Haru and enveloping Yuki into a tight embrace. I pull back and kiss his forehead, making him blush a bit in embarrassment, for Tohru has just walked into the room, exclaiming how she hadn't heard Hatori come in.

"Tohru!" I leap forward and pull her into a crushing hug, making her squeak with surprise before I let her go, throwing open the door to see the sky.

For a moment I can't see, but for once I am smothered in light, not darkness as I squint, waiting until my sore eyes get used to it before stepping out onto the porch, staring up at the blue sky and grinning.

_I'll never take any of this for granted, ever again. _I think as I watch a cloud lazily drift past; my eyes wander around the property, drinking in the trees, grass, sun, anything my eyes can see.

I turn to look towards the side of the porch, where my rocking chair is. I look at it and smile, seeing that it's a beautiful rocking chair of dark cherry wood, gleaming in the sunlight. I approach it and run my fingers over it, then blink as I realize I don't recognize my own hands.

Laced with tiny red marks, callused and pale, these aren't mine. I don't recognize my own hands, or my arms.

I don't recognize myself either; I've grown taller, and with a shock I realize my chestnut hair is now a little past my shoulders, though it's still stick-straight.

I reach up and touch it, wondering if my face is different too, but right now I don't really care what I look like as I tilt my head up, smiling at the sky, and as I feel the sun kiss my cheeks I imagine it's smiling back.

OOO

I sit on the roof with Haru later that night, looking up towards the stars, unable to stop staring at them.

"So you told Yuki?" Haru asks and I nod, not looking away from the moon. "At least he knows now- I saw the way he wasn't going after you today, so I know he's OK with it." He says.

A thought suddenly races across my mind, as foreboding and electric as a lightning bolt and I stiffen.

Akito only let me go since I was blind… now that I have my sight back, is he going to want me back?

_If I don't go back, he'll go after Yuki… the bastard can't handle being alone. I'm going to have to go back. _I blink, refusing to allow myself to cry over this. I should have known I'd have to go back- why didn't I lie to Hatori and tell him I couldn't see?

"Hey, are you OK?" Haru asks suddenly and I nod tightly. His arm comes around my shoulder and he pulls me closer; I lay my head on his strong shoulder and sigh.

"I'm going to have to go back there, won't I?" I ask quietly and Haru is silent for a moment, running his hand over my hair. "I'm not going to let you go back to his clutches Rei- I swear to you, I will protect you." I raise my head and look up, surprised by the firm, determined gray eyes looking back at me.

_When did you grow up so fast?_

"Thank you." I reply softly, touched that Haru is so willing to look out for me as I lie my head back on his head, glad for the support of a friend.

_But you're not the one who can protect Yuki- when it comes down to it, if his safety is threatened again I'll have to go back, whether I like it or not. _

OOO

**Author's Note:**

She can see again. Yay ^.^

No, I don't mean she doesn't love Haru when she's thinking of him as a friend- things like that take a while to click, you know? ;)

As I've said, dark times lie ahead for Rei- I needed to give her sight back for things later in the plot.

I think Rei has an idea of what's lying ahead though, no? She's a smart little cookie xD

Anyways, please review! My happiness is just one click away! ^_^

LOSGAP =D

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	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:**

I included a bit from the manga in the beginning- since it's black and white, I'm not exactly sure what color the hat is- I'm pretty sure it's red though- feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!

Oh, and prepare for angst shortly after the fluff. A lot of angst. It made me so sad to write T_T

LOSGAP =D

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That night I decide I was going to check out every room in the entire house, except for Kyo and Shigure's- Kyo's, because I knew he would probably get mad and I didn't feel like starting a fight, and Shigure's because I would have bet my life there was nothing PG in there.

I knock and enter Tohru's room, looking around curiously. It's a big room, and she's got a very large bed. _Good. _I thought in approval. _She deserves a nice room- she works so hard, she needs a good place to sleep. _Tohru is on her bed, reading a book that has her undivided attention, so I don't have to keep up chatter as I wander around, looking at her things curiously.

Normal people probably wouldn't have been poking around other people's rooms the second they got their sight back, but the Horse is a very curious, inquisitive creature. So I scanned her room, interested.

Needless to say, everything was a bit blurry- I couldn't see farther then about 10 feet, but everything was pretty clear close up.

My eyes set on an old, dirty red cap sitting on a dresser and I tilt my head, realizing it looks familiar. I approach it and pick it up, seeing that it's a child's hat.

_It can't be! _I realize, startled. "Tohru." I say slowly, turning around and showing her the hat. "Where did you get this??" I ask her and she raises her head.

"Oh! That's the hat from the boy who saved me!" She says and I blink slowly. "I want to hear this story." I say, plopping down on the bed next to her.

"Well, one day, when I was little, I got really lost in town- I couldn't find my way home! It was so scary!" Tohru starts and I nod, glancing over at the door when I hear foot steps. I glimpse a flash of silver hair and smile, knowing that Yuki will be able to hear this story.

"But then this wonderful boy, wearing this hat, led the way to my house- I was so happy! He didn't tell me his name or anything, but he gave me this hat before he left." She smiles, looking down at the hat. "I think that boy was my first love." She adds with a faint blush and my sharp ears pick up a sharp intake of breath from outside the door.

"I wish I could see him again, so I can thank him." She says, fingering the hat. "That's a great story." I smile, placing the cap on her head. "I hope you meet him again." I add as I walk out of the room, and sure enough, Yuki is right outside.

"So that's where you disappeared to when I was out playing with Haru all those years ago." I grin and he blushes lightly. "She needed help." He mutters and I smile, walking past him to our room.

"Are you ever going to tell her?" I ask over my shoulder as he follows and he nods. "When the right moment arrives." He replies and I nod understandingly.

"Still, you were her first love- that's gotta feel pretty good, eh?" I ask with a grin and he smiles faintly. "Then again, I'm also Haru's first love, so…" He points out and I laugh.

"That's true." I agree, still chuckling. I plop down on my bed, stretching my arms over my head as Yuki sits down on his own, then he glances over at me.

"Are you going back?" He asks me suddenly and I blink, lowering my arms. "I'm not sure." I admit. "If Akito summons me, I may have to- I won't let him have you again." I say firmly and am surprised when Yuki fixes me with a suddenly hard gaze.

"Don't go." He says, standing up. "Please." He presses his forehead to mine, his eyes an inch from mine, and I can see the quiet desperation in them.

"I can't lose you again. Please Rei, don't go."

I look up at him and smile sadly, reaching up to touch his cheek. "If I don't go, he'll take you back. You know that." I say and he shakes his head. "I won't let you fight this for me- you can't throw your life away for me. If he wants me, he can come get me- I'm not going to let you take my place." He says firmly and I blink at the resolution in his eyes.

_This isn't the same little boy who would run when someone said Akito was looking for him. He's grown up so much… why haven't I noticed? _

"OK Yuki." I agree quietly. "I won't go."

OOO

"Hello." I greet Yuki as I walk up beside him at school. Yuki doesn't respond and continues staring off into space, leaning against a railing. I stand beside him, crossing my arms behind my head and look down at me.

"What's bothering you?" I question and Yuki sighs. "He's going to take Rei back- I know he is." Yuki says quietly and I blink, my arms slowly lowering.

"He might." I admit with a sigh. "But she'll go happily, if it means protecting you." I point out. "That's exactly what's bothering me!" Yuki snaps, standing up straight. "I don't want her getting beaten so I can continue living in a freedom I don't ever take full advantage of!" He turns to me, his eyes flashing. "She's been protecting me her entire life… it's about time I return the favor."

"What are you saying?" I ask slowly, not really getting it. "I know how much she loves being free- I want her to go to school, get a boyfriend, all of that… and she can't do that as long as Akito continues to want someone locked up with him." He raises his head and fixes me with a piercing gaze. "I'm going to go over there today. I don't know if I'll ever come back, but tell Rei not to come after me." He says, and before I can protest, he is gone, walking away with his chin held high, though I know he must be terrified.

_He can't go there! Akito will kill him- he hasn't seen him since last year's Banquet. He's going to think Yuki's been neglecting him. _I think in horror.

_I have to tell Rei._

OOO

"Where's Yuki?" I question when I see Tohru and Kyo walking home from school, giving them a curious look.

"Yuki has a student council meeting today, so he said not to expect him to be home until late." Tohru explains and I nod, proud of my brother for having a part in the student council- it's just the kind of thing he's good at.

I look up when I hear the crunch of tires over dirt and raise my eyebrows, seeing Haru on his bike as he pulls up.

"How is it they walked home faster then you rode? Did you get lost or something?" I ask him with amusement as Tohru and Kyo go inside, neither of them noticing the Ox.

"I didn't want them to see me." He explains. "Rei, I need to tell you something you're not going to want to hear- it's Yuki."

OOO

I fly over the ground, my muscles stretching and coiling as I take huge strides, fury and fear racing through me as I fought down panic.

_How could you do this Yuki? I sacrificed so much to keep you free- now you're just throwing it away! _I think, leaping over a log in one huge bound.

I left Haru at home, telling him that if we're not back in a few days then he should come looking for us. I know I need to do this alone.

I don't check my pace when I see the Sohma estate looming in front of me- I'm approaching from the rear, so there aren't any fences back here- no one will try and escape into the woods.

I only slow down when I come to Akito's house, whirling around to kick open the doors.

I storm in, my eyes flashing around as I look for Yuki.

"Ah, I see you finally came back to me, my little Horse." I whirl around and stare at Akito, leaning casually against the wall, not looking at me.

"Where's Yuki?" I hiss, and he chuckles quietly. "He's not here- I'm not sure why you're so worked up." He says and I stiffen, realizing I must have come here so quickly I beat him here.

"Hatori says you got your sight back just yesterday. You came running right back to me the moment you could, didn't you?" He asks, gliding over to me and I find myself rooted to the spot as he reaches up and touches my cheek.

"That's good- I knew you'd be too scared to hide from me." His lips curve upwards into a smile. We both jump when the door opens and Yuki enters, a determined look in his eyes changing quickly into shock as he stares at us.

_He thinks I came here of my own free will. _I realize, seeing the accusing glare he's giving me as he approaches. "Yuki." Akito smiles and Yuki stops dead in his tracks, his eyes widening at the voice.

"Why have you not visited me, Yuki? Am I not important enough to you?" Akito's voice suddenly turns harsh. "I am God! You cannot run away from God- how _dare _you try to hide from me?!" Akito shrieks, and before I can react his fist flies out, catching a startled Yuki straight in the face, sending him flying into the wall.

"Yuki!" I shriek, dashing to his side. His eyes are blank, staring off into space with shock. A thin trickle of blood runs down from the center of his forehead and I whirl, neighing with fury as I leap at Akito, murder on my mind.

I am suddenly jerked to a halt and I rear up, pulling on the chain suddenly around my neck as I neigh in shock, coming back down and staring at the burly dark-haired man holding the chain, his face blank as he looks at Akito.

"Rei, I'd like you meet Yoshio and Kenji- your handlers." Akito says, smiling. I flatten my ears and squeal with rage, charging at Yoshio, the one holding my chain with my mouth gaping, ready to sink my teeth into him to set me free.

But Kenji, the lighter haired one, catches me around the neck with another chain, and jerks me in the other direction, stopping me in my tracks.

"Take her to her cell- she's staying here with me, whether she likes it or not." Akito says, smiling at me and I neigh, now with panic instead of rage as I plant my hooves, whinnying to Yuki, refusing to use words in front of these men, not knowing if they know the secret or not.

Yuki is barely conscious- he looks up at me, being dragged away from him and mutters my name, raising a hand as though he wants to try and pull me back to him.

I barely mange to stick my neck out far enough to nuzzle his hand, giving him a desperate look as his eyes close, and his hand falls to the floor.

I whinny again, rearing up and stomping my hooves, begging him to wake up and escape, but he doesn't respond.

I stare at my baby brother, lying broken and bloody on the floor, and know I have no choice but to leave him, if only to protect him.

I hang my head in defeat, giving him one last look before I allow myself to be led away.

OOO

I walk along quietly behind Yoshio and Kenji, not fighting as I walk with my head low, not caring where I'm going.

The only time I show any signs of spirit is when I halt at the door of my new cell, staring into the blackness ahead, and for a moment I consider fighting again.

But then I remember Yuki- he'll never forgive me for this, but I have little choice in the matter anymore. _Please forgive me Yuki. I don't know if I'm ever coming back, but maybe one day you'll learn to forgive me. _

Kenji jerks on my chain and I sigh, stepping out of the light and into the darkness.

OOO

**Author's Note:**

You see why I was sad to write this chapter now T_T

I didn't like locking poor Rei up again, but the plotline calls for it- we'll have to wait to find out how Haru reacts to the news she's gone again, and how Yuki will take the news she was locked away while he was knocked out.

This is going to turn interesting, ne?

Please review! I'll update soon!

LOSGAP =D

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	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:**

GOMEN!

GOMEN!

UGH I hate my computer so much! It put up the wrong chapter! D:

I can't believe it did that -_-

Ugh. I'm so embarrassed about that.

Please don't laugh too hard at me and read the chapter? *sheepish laugh*

LOSGAP =D

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_Desperate I will crawl,_

_Waiting for so long,_

_No love. There is no love. _

_Die for anyone,_

_What have I become?_

_(Breaking Benjamin, "Diary of Jane")_

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I sat up all night, waiting for Yuki and Rei to come home.

When the sun set, I knew they weren't coming- but still, I clung to that little hope I had that at least one of them would come home.

I waited in their bedroom, sitting on Yuki's bed as I hoped one of them would walk in through that door soon- but the night dragged on, and no one came.

When I see the sun rising I stand up, my fists at my sides, clenched with determination. I know I have to go after them.

OOO

When I actually get to the Sohma property, however, I have no idea what I'm doing.

_Maybe this was a bad idea. _I thought, scratching my head as I gazed around, unsure of where to go. _Stupid Ox! You can't give up already! _I thought furiously. My eyes set on Akito's house and I hesitate, that primal fear of Akito squeezing my heart and bringing me to a halt.

_Come on- it's for Rei and Yuki. _Their names swell my chest and I straighten, striding with purpose towards the looming structure.

"Haru?" I turn towards the questioning voice, and blink in surprise when I see it's Hatori. "Yes?" I regard him calmly, waiting for an explanation of what he wants.

"Could you come with me please?" Hatori nods towards his house and walks off without waiting for my answer. I look at his back, puzzled, before I shrug and follow him inside.

"Perhaps you can get an answer out of him." Hatori says, and I follow his gaze to where Yuki is slouching in a chair, his hand in his chin, purple eyes glazed and blank.

"He hasn't said a word since Akito told me to take care of him yesterday." Hatori says and I nod dumbly, staring at Yuki.

He's a mess- there is a bandage on his forehead, but he also has a black eye and a split lip- he looks as though he was in a fist fight.

"Yuki?" I crouch down in front of him- he isn't looking at me, more like through me. "Yuki? What happened?" I ask him quietly, though I have a pretty good idea of who did this to him. Yuki blinks once, but doesn't answer.

"What happened to Rei?" I ask lowly, and I see recognition flicker in his eyes as he glances over at me. He stares at me; his eyes filled with a quiet grief as he shakes his head slowly and looks away again.

_What happened to them?_

OOO

I run through the halls of the main house, trying every door as I search for Rei.

As soon as Yuki told me Akito had Rei dragged away, I was out the door, desperate to find her. Who knew what Akito would do to her?

I wander deeper and deeper into the cold heart of the estate, where few people go, and I slow down, wondering if Rei could possibly be here.

"Rei?" I call quietly, hoping not to alert Akito to my presence- if he knew I was here, he'd automatically assume I was here for Rei, and most likely she'd suffer for it.

The hall is cold and dark; silence lays thick as death over me as I step lightly, as though I walking in a cemetery. I peer in every door I pass, though most are so dark I couldn't see inside.

"Haru?" I stiffen when I look into another room, with bars on the small window and I hear the sound of a chain rattling. "Is that you?"

A pale hand reaches through the bars and grips mine in a shaking grasp. I stare at Rei's face, looking at her eyes- eyes that have the same quiet desperation in them as her brother, though it is more pronounced- she is the one in the cell, not Yuki.

"I have to get you out of here." I say suddenly, twisting the knob and pulling on the door, furious that it won't budge.

"Haru, you need to leave." Rei stares at me, her eyes pleading. "I know I won't get out of here, so I need you to watch over Yuki."

I shake my head fiercely, holding onto her hand for dear life as I press it to my cheek, staring deep into her eyes. "You have to come with me." My voice shakes and I hate myself for being weak in front of the one girl who has never shown weakness in front of me.

"Haru…" She wipes her thumb over my cheek and I realize her thumb is wet with a tear I never realized I shed. "Just go, please. He'll be here soon, and I can't let you get hurt too." Her eyes flash. "He hurt Yuki- I know he did. I can protect him in here, but not if he comes back- Haru, promise me you'll get out of this place with him, and you won't look back."

Rei and I stare at each other; I can feel my heart cracking as I realize I have no choice but to leave her behind if we want to protect the boy we love.

"I'll get out of here." She promises me. "But I won't until I know Yuki is safe. Get him out of here, and I'll try and make a break for it the first time I can." Rei says, steel in her eyes as she gazes at me. I feel a flash of admiration for her- I can see the way she has obviously been badly beaten, but her eyes are bright and her back is straight, calm resolve burning in her gaze.

_No one will ever break you Rei. _

"OK." I say quietly. "I'll go- but I'll hold you to that promise. If I don't see you in one week, I'm coming back for you." I say firmly and she nods once.

"Goodbye Haru." She says quietly, giving my hand another squeeze. "Goodbye." I murmur back, and though it is the hardest thing I've ever done, I let go of her hand and walk away.

OOO

I watch Haru walk away, waiting until I can't hear his footsteps before I allow myself to sink to the ground, groaning softly as I crumble, unable to hold myself up anymore.

I let out a quiet sob at the way I blatantly lied to Haru, feeding him false comfort- I'm never going to get out of here.

_At least he and Yuki will be safe. _I think with relief. Even if I die here, which is becoming an almost certain outcome, I'll die happy knowing that Haru and Yuki managed to escape Akito's clutches.

I press my cheek to the cold cement floor, staring into the blackness ahead as I waited for sleep to claim me.

"So you're really just going to give up?"I can almost hear Yuki's accusing voice.

"Just going to roll over and die? That's not the Rei I know." I close my eyes, willing for his voice to go away.

"The Rei I know wouldn't have let Akito touch her- what happened to you? What happened to the Rei who laughed at Akito and would rather die before she let him control her?"

"Stop it." I growl, sitting up and staring into the blackness ahead, reminded acutely of my prior blindness so much that my heart shakes with fear at the thought I may have lost my sight again.

"Why?" Yuki's cruel, mocking tone echoes in my mind and I bristle. "Face it Rei, you're a coward." I struggle to my feet, ignoring my muscles screaming in protests as I stare wildly ahead, shaking with fury.

"Shut up! I'm _not_ scared! I'm not going to roll over and die- I'm going to fight my way out of here, damn it!" I snarl, and I'm surprised at what has come out of me- my heart swells with the truth of my words. I can't give up- I have too much left to fight for.

"Now _that's _the Rei I know." Yuki's voice chuckles and I wonder if I'm going to go crazy locked up in here, when I heard the sound of footsteps walking away from my cell door.

3


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:**

Yes, I know I suck for screwing up last chapter- I hope you guys are done laughing now -_-

(I don't blame you for laughing- I did too xD)

Read and review! Please and thank you!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fruits Basket or any of the songs listed- they all belong to their respective owners and artists.

LOSGAP =D

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_I just want one more chance_

_To put my arms in fragile hands._

_I thought you said forever_

_Over and over._

_A sleepless night becomes_

_Bitter oblivion._

_(Anberlin, "Paper Thin Hymn"_

I let out another harsh neigh as I leap, throwing myself against the door. It shudders with the impact, but holds.

I whirl and kick, slamming my hooves into the metal frame over and over, until my front legs buckle from holding my weight so long and I lay trembling on the ground.

I gasp for breath, every muscle quivering and aching, but still I rise to my feet and stare at the door, my ears going flat before I charge into it again, squealing with rage at how it doesn't budge.

I back up until my tail is pressed against the far wall, closing my eyes as I collect myself, begging for one last surge of strength before I collapse- I've been doing this for hours.

My eyes snap open and I snort, giving a half rear before I turn my head, using my neck and chest as the battering ram behind the two thousand pounds of force slamming into the door.

When the door flies open, finally admitting defeat I skid to a halt in the hall, staring at the door, my heart pounding in my chest as I can't believe I've escaped.

I rear up, letting out an ecstatic neigh as I gallop off, not caring if everyone here hears me- I _want_ them to hear me. I want them to remember me not as the girl who let Akito do whatever he pleased with her, but as the strong young woman who broke free.

I blast through an open door, whinnying as I charge, my eyes searching for an escape route back home. My ears go back and I slide to a stop when I see that the front gate is shut and locked.

I rear up and throw my hooves against it, furious that my escape had been thwarted. I whirl around, not willing to give up just yet, and make a desperate run for the back, knowing there're no gates behind the Sohma property- just miles and miles of forest.

I pound my hooves into the ground, flying past the houses as my head comes up and I whinny into the wind- I'm almost free.

But as I approach the last house I must pass, Akito's, a dark figure steps out behind it, blocking my path. I snort as I slide to a halt, only a few inches from his face.

"Get out of the way Akito." I hiss, clenching my teeth and pinning my ears. A normal horse would have just tossed him aside, trampled him into the dust- but the curse prevents me from hurting him. Because deep down, in some sick, twisted way, I still love him, and I can't hurt the god of the Zodiac.

The animal in me worships him, and especially when I'm in my Horse form, I can not hurt him even if I tried. I hate myself for this, but it is another part of the curse we all must bow our wills too.

"Why are you trying to escape?" He asks me and the Horse inside me bows her head in shame. "I have given you shelter, food, water and love- what more could an animal like you ask for?"

I stand completely frozen, the Horse and I battling for dominance- the Horse wants to apologize to Akito and trot right back to her cage like a good little horse, but the human in me is screaming for me to get out while I still can.

My body is locked into place; I can't move a muscle, even as the human in me is slowly starting to turn the tide. I feel something close around my neck and snort, turning my head to see Yoshio holding onto the chain, a grim expression on his face.

_He thinks I'm just a horse- he doesn't want to do this. _I realize, pity for him making an unprecedented appearance in my heart.

"Take her back." Akito says, his eyes narrowed to slits as he stares at me. "I'll deal with her later."

OOO

Even if being dragged, literally kicking and screaming, back to my hole in the ground wasn't bad enough, Akito comes to "have a chat" with me.

The mental abuse he is capable of dishing out is much more severe then his physical- even though I'm lying on the ground, my nostrils clogged with blood, unable to even breathe, my mind is being pummeled worse then my body has.

Akito stands at the door, whispering things into the blackness- I try hard to ignore him, but the Horse part of me is hanging on his every word, and I am forced to listen.

They say if you hear something terrible said to you enough times, you'll begin to believe it- that's Akito's philosophy.

So as Akito tells me I'll never escape here, all I have is him, no one else will ever love me and take pity on me like he does, I begin to believe it.

I believe him, that life is pointless, I am the scum of the earth, life is going to be one heartache after another, because I have already started to believe this long before he told me this.

OOO

As the days drag by, a little voice in my head reminds me that Haru is going to come after me if I don't return to him today.

The despairing thought that I am not going to escape, and that soon Haru is going to be dragged into this mess is almost unbearable- I begin to grow sick, and before long I can't even find the strength to rise from the floor.

That's where I am now, my cheek pressed against the cool concrete, sticky with my blood, staring ahead into the darkness, thinking, not for the first time, it'd all be so much easier if Akito would just kill me.

_Remember what Yuki said. _Something inside me stirs at the memory of Yuki's words the day I said goodbye to Haru and I blink, a hint of life sparking deep within.

_He doesn't want me to give up. _I think, and I place my hand on the ground, then the other, and struggle to straighten up. I barely manage to lift my broken body off of the ground before I collapse again, closing my eyes.

A tear slides down my nose and drips onto the floor as I lie still, thankful no one can see me like this.

I can almost hear Yuki's voice knocking me to my feet, no gentle guiding, pushing and shoving me back to my feet- tough love.

I can almost feel Haru's soft voice and hands as he is the opposite- gently helping me stand, letting me lean on him until I find my own strength.

Such different boys, but I love them both more then life itself.

_If you love them so much, then get up! Don't lie here and take it- get your butt up and don't give in until you're out of here!_

I grit my teeth as I press my hands against the ground, lifting myself inch by painful inch, gathering my bruised and battered body underneath me until I rise from the dirt, panting and sweating, but I am standing.

I lift my chin and stare defiantly into the blackness, daring it to try and smother me again.

I turn myself towards the door as it opens, and a slight smile lifts up my lips.

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_Face down in the dirt,_

_She said, "This doesn't hurt",_

_She said, "I finally had enough."_

_-_

_One day she will tell you_

_That she has had enough._

_It's coming round again._

_-_

_One day this world's going to end,_

_As your lies crumble down,_

_A new life she has found._

_(The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, "Face Down")_

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"You're standing." Akito's says, surprised. He smiles at me, and I feel my blood run cold. "Good- I need you." He says and I narrow my eyes, wondering what he's talking about.

"Come with me." He says and I take a step forward but he holds up his hand. "Not in that form." He says and I roll my eyes, but decide to phase- it will make it much easier to escape once the opportunity arises.

I stand before him, now in my Horse form, my eyes calm as I stare at the floor, pretending to be subdued.

_That's right Akito. _I think as I kneel before him, allowing him to sit on my back, nudging me back to my feet. _You think you've won. Won't you be in for a surprise?_

I walk forward, taking the yanks on my mane as directions as I stride down the halls, my muscles quivering with the thought of the freedom I can almost taste.

"I thought you'd like to see someone who came to see you." Akito says as he pulls back, and I come to a halt. He turns me into his room and I raise my head a bit when I pick up a familiar scent when I push the door open with my muzzle.

I come to a dead halt, staring at Haru in shock. _What are you doing here!? You'll ruin everything! _I scream at him silently, but he looks at me, his eyes calm.

"I told you I would come back." He says and I blink, surprised by how happy that made me feel that he has kept his promise.

"As you can see Hatsuharu, Rei isn't going to want to go back with you." Akito says, running a hand down my neck. "She came back to me of her own free will, and she isn't going to choose you over her god."

_They say smugness comes before the downfall. _I think. _Certainly is a lot of smugness though. _

I look up at Haru, and see his grey eyes looking back at me, calm and expecting. If I had been in my human form, I would have smiled at him- he obviously knows I haven't been quite broken yet.

"Tell me, Hatsuharu." Akito says and Haru raises his head, looking up at Akito quizzically. "Yuki loves that hag Tohru, doesn't he?"

Haru and I both stiffen, and I see a smirk cross Akito's face. "On a normal circumstance, I would have killed Yuki for daring to love someone other then me." Akito says. "But, I know holding his sister is more punishment then death would ever bring to him- Rei, tell Haru you're not going with him." Akito says and my eyes widen.

_You bastard. _My ears flatten. He dared suggest I choose between my life and my brother?

Haru is horrified, staring at me with wide eyes, silently asking me what we're supposed to do- he won't let me go back, but we can't let him kill Yuki or Tohru.

"So, Rei." Akito says. "What do you choose?"

I close my eyes, his words whirling through my mind. What was I supposed to do?

Slowly, my head rises up and my eyes open, a new determination rising in my mind. _God, forgive me for what I am about to do. _

"I choose," I say quietly, turning my head to stare at Akito. "Neither. I'm finished, Akito." Akito's eyes narrow, obviously about to demand what I'm talking about when I neigh, leaping straight up into the air and twisting like a wildcat as I whirl and buck, a furious whinny escaping my throat as I leap and plunge.

Akito topples off, and I rear up over him, whinnying as I prepare myself to trample him, ready to end the years of abuse.

But as I look down at Akito, I suddenly don't see the twisted soul he has always shown himself to be- I see a very scared, tortured spirit, one terrified of being alone, as abused and broken as the rest of us.

My rage falters and I blink, my hooves still dangling above his head as he stares up at me with terrified eyes.

_If you kill him, you're no better then he is. _

I snort, coming back to earth and we stare at each other, both breathing hard. I stare into his eyes, and I shake my head slowly.

"You're not going to kill Yuki." I say slowly. "Just like you won't kill me- you're so terrified of being alone you couldn't kill any of us if you tried."

Akito is staring at me, as though he can't tell whether he should attack me or not, but I step forward and press my muzzle against his face. "Goodbye, Akito." I murmur, before I walk away and stand in the doorway.

"You coming Haru?" I ask, glancing over at the shocked Ox. "O-OK. Yeah." He gives the stunned Akito another shocked glance before he trots after me, and I lead the way outside.

We walk side by side silently towards the gate, neither of us speaking until Haru reaches it first, throwing the gates open wide.

"What happened in there?" Haru finally says, his voice tinged with shock and awe.

"I think," I say slowly, still not understanding it myself. "that I… I forgave him."

The instant those words leave my mouth a bright light seems to explode in front of my eyes and I snort, rearing up and squealing.

I can't see anything but the blinding white light, nor can I hear anything but wind roaring in my ears. There is another neigh, but it doesn't seem to come from me, farther away and soft- I can feel a gentle touch to my face, and a whispered sentence in my mind.

_Thank you. Your forgiveness set me free. _

OOO

When I open my eyes again, I'm in my human form, and Haru and I are staring at each other, shock in both of our eyes.

"Rei, I think you just broke the curse." Haru says, stunned. I shake my head, bewildered. By forgiving Akito, by letting go of all that harbored hatred and anger, somehow I released not just my bitterness, but the Horse trapped inside.

"Did it happen for you too?" I ask Haru softly and he nods- I wonder if he had the same experience as I.

I still can't believe it ended, just like that- have the animals of the Banquet always hated their god for trapping them in human bodies? Did all it take was acceptance and forgiveness to set us free?

_It must have. _I realize, as Haru, carefully keeping his eyes skyward, holds out his long white jacket. I take it from him, slipping it on and closing it around me, moving as though I'm in a dream.

As soon as I have it zipped up Haru takes me into his embrace, laughing heartily. "We're free!" He says and I blink, then join him in the joyful laughter.

"We're free!" I cry, letting him spin me around as I think of everyone who has been set free- every Sohma can be happy now, even Akito- without the curse, he may be able to heal, maybe even able to forgive himself.

Haru sets me down and without any warning crushes his lips to mine.

I'm more surprised by how desperately I've wanted this kiss then how sudden it was- I pull him closer, our lips moving together in a bruising, crushing embrace.

I can't believe how much I want him, or how much he wants me as he wraps his arms around my waist as I hug his neck, our kiss losing its desperate edge and softening into a loving, tender movement before I set my head on his chest, closing my eyes and smiling.

"I have been waiting so long for that." Haru murmurs, kissing my forehead and pressing his hand to the back of my head, holding me close to him.

"Me too." I reply, burying my face deeper into his chest.

_Finally- we are free._

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_I hear the wind,_

_Call my name._

_A sound that leads_

_Me home again._

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I race flat out, an ecstatic grin on my face I as run with Haru, eager to get home, where I belong.

"Yuki!"

I spot him standing on the porch, as though he knew I was coming, and I see his face light up and he jumps off of the porch.

"Rei! It's broken! The curse is broken!" I sweep him up into a crushing embrace, laughing as I hug my little brother close.

"I know!" I shriek, kissing his cheek, his forehead, and squeezing him tight to me again, closing my eyes as Haru, not to be left out, joins in the now group hug, and I smile wider.

For the first time in my entire life, I feel truly at home, with people who love me, wanting me to be with them every day- I love the way I fit perfectly together with both of them, as though we were made to be together when we were created.

I look up at the porch and see Tohru, Kyo, and Shigure standing on the porch, and I throw them a happy grin. Tohru waves happily, joyful tears in her eyes as she can't believe her friends are free, Shigure with his bright happy smile, his eyes lit up with happiness- even Kyo has the faintest of smiles on his face as he looks back at me.

_Finally. _I think as Haru and Yuki each take one of my hands and we walk up to the porch.

_I'm home._

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_It sparks up a fire,_

_A flame that still burns._

_And to you, I will always, always_

_Return._

_(Bryan Adams, "I Will Always Return)_

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**Author's Note:**

I honestly didn't intend to end the story when I first started this chapter- I'm sad to see it end, but we've had a good run, no?

I wanted to show Akito in a different light- I know I've usually shown him to be just a one-sided, evil person, but he is just as cursed as everyone else- unfortunately he took it quite badly. He's only 19 though guys- he's been god of the Zodiac from a very young age- no wonder he's crazy. (I think he's 19, I could be wrong)

I'd like to thank everyone for following this story- you guys are the best! Thank you all, so much, for being here through to the end of this story- I may be posting an epilogue, but I'm not sure- it all depends if Rei decides she isn't ready to go away xD

Rei is one of my favorite OC's that I've ever created- I'm really sad to let her go, so an epilogue is a very good possibility though.

I really hope you guys loved this story as much as I did- I can't believe I got so much feedback for it! 99 reviews guys! You rock!

Until we meet again!

LOSGAP =D

6


	18. Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys! I'm SO glad everyone liked the ending- it was the first ending I've ever been really proud of, and wasn't scared to put up (well, not THAT scared)

I really loved it, and I'm thrilled everyone else seemed to- I was a bit nervous about putting this up, actually because I wasn't sure if I'd end up ruining the ending last chapter *laughs*

Any who, please read and review! Please and thank you!

LOSGAP =D

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I lean back on my hands and sigh contentedly, tipping my head back to soak in the suns rays as I lean back, basking in the warm sand underneath me.

"You've gotta love summer." I sigh, and get an agreeing grunt as an answer beside me. I open one eye and glance over at Haru, unable to tell if he was asleep, since he is wearing sunglasses.

"We're so lazy." I laugh and Haru's lips curve upwards a bit in a smile.

"Yes you are." I hear Yuki say in amusement and look up, grinning at my brother. "Well, if it isn't the valedictorian himself." I grin and Yuki crosses his arms, frowning down at me. "Graduation was a month ago Rei-isn't it about time you stop calling me that?"

"Besides, you were valedictorian too." Haru adds. "I'm proud of you though." I say and Yuki laughs. "You've only said that ninety times- we get it Rei."

"Yuki!" Yuki turns his head as Tohru runs up, an excited grin on her face. "Come on! Let's build a sand castle!" She says eagerly, tugging on his hand. I watch my brother smile at his girlfriend and he nods, going with her to the water's edge.

I lift my own sunglasses as I lean up onto my elbows, deciding to see what everyone else is doing. I think Haru has fallen asleep- Yuki and Tohru are building a sandcastle, though it looks more like a sand hill, and Kyo and Uo were arguing.

That's right- Kyo and Uo. You wouldn't have pictured them together, would you? Turned out Uo only fought with him because she had a crush on him- Kyo admired her sharp wit and fighting spirit- the two of them were a great pair.

Even if they fought _all the time._

I watched as Uo kicked sand at Kyo, then ran into the waves- Kyo gave chase, stopping at the water's edge (still very much a Cat at heart, poor thing) and yelling at her, waving his fist.

I sigh, shaking my head as I turn to Haru, poking the sleeping Ox. "Haru, if you sleep there you'll get sunburn." I point out as he mumbles in his sleep.

"Too late for that." He sighs and I frown, then he lifts up his sunglasses, revealing the pale white skin underneath and I finally realize the poor man is _red_.

"Oh my… I'm sorry…" I hide my mouth behind my hand as I snicker, trying not to be amused as Haru sits up slowly, wincing a little bit.  
"Forget your sunscreen?" I guess and he nods sadly. "Smooth." I sigh, then stand up. "I'll get the aloe Vera."

OOO

The beach turned out not to be such a good idea- Haru, being baked alive, was not a happy person as he camped out in the living room, stubbornly refusing to leave Yuki, half-asleep on the couch. Yuki had gotten heatstroke or something, and had pretty much collapsed building sand castles, creating panic between his sister and girlfriend.

Kyo, half-drowned after being dragged into the water by Uo, was sulking upstairs, with Uo teasing him about being such a baby about the water. The only one unscathed seemed to be me- Tohru had gotten pinched by a crab.

I place my chin in my hand, idly flipping through the channels, keeping an eye on my cooked boyfriend and overheated little brother. Tohru was upstairs in bed, Yuki's orders- it was late, nearly eleven now.

As you've probably guessed, I was the adult supervision for this trip- Shigure, finally allowed to be with women, was seldom at home anymore- neither was Ayame, for that matter. And Hatori? He'd found himself a girlfriend- I thought her name is Mayu.

As for Akito, no one really knows what he's up to- he hasn't lashed out at anyone lately, but he hasn't exactly tried to make up for his mistakes- he spends most of time at home.

I sigh as I lean back on my crossed arms, staring up at the ceiling as I smile slightly up at it- it's only been two years since I broke the curse, but we've all come so far- Yuki's confessed to Tohru, who returned his feelings and they were happily together now- Haru and I are very much still together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Even as I thought this, Haru looks up at me and sits up, a bit stiffly, moving like a robot as he tries not to move any of his burned skin- which is impossible, considering he burned just about all of it.

"Rei, may I go take a bath?" He asks and I sweat drop. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because, I don't want you to get lonely." He replies and I sigh, shaking my head and smiling. "Just go." He shrugs, flinches, then walks away stiffly.

_Poor thing. _I think smiling at his pale white back- I would have never called him pale beforehand, but considering he looks like an overdone lobster from the front, everything else looks like alabaster.

I can't help but think we should have brought Hatori along.

I look over at my still sleeping brother, and smile a bit, reaching up to brush back his bangs from his flushed face.

_I still don't regret all those years Yuki- we made it here, didn't we? _

OOO

When the end of the summer arrives, and Haru has peeled enough skin to build his own twin, we decide to celebrate with fireworks.

"The bright colors will explode in the night, and shall shatter the darkness." Haru says as he opens a box, frowning at the instructions.

"Wow. That was deep Haru. Real deep." Uo says dryly.

"Warning- when setting up, do not point at other people or buildings." Yuki reads from his box, and I notice Haru pointing his firework at Kyo.

"Quit pointing it at me!" The Cat snaps, and Haru doesn't change expression, calmly lowering his weapon.

_Haru, I worry for your sanity sometimes. _

There is a fizzing, popping sound next to me and I jump as Haru lights a sparkler, holding it up and looking quite pleased with himself.

"Get that away from me!" Kyo hisses as Haru takes a step in his direction. "Haru, quit torturing the Cat." I sigh and Kyo glares at me furiously. "I still don't really get why you all call him a cat sometimes." Uo says, then shrugs, not bothering to press it.

"Isn't it pretty?" Haru asks as he sits down next to me, holding out the sparkler and I nod, watching the bright colors.

Even after two years, I still don't take things like this for granted- I thank God every morning when I open my eyes to light.

I've stopped thinking about those months in the dark- I may savor the light, but that doesn't mean I'll cloud my mind with the memories- just like Akito hasn't crossed my mind all summer, except for the occasional idle wonderings of how he's doing now.

I lean back and watch everyone playing with the sparklers, acting like little kids- Haru and Kyo are still play-fighting, Tohru and Yuki are mostly just admiring the flashing lights, and Uo is standing near to me, not holding one either, just watching everyone play like I am.

I still can't believe everyone here is an adult- except for Haru, who's still seventeen- but not one of them are acting their age.

_This is how it should be. _I think, smiling a ghost. _We're all happy now, now that's we're free- I still don't quite understand what happened, but I don't care- the main thing is, we are free, and that will never change._

OOO

"Haru, you're acting like a clingy teenage girl- get off of Rei."

"Why?" Haru, ignoring all safety laws, has decided to sit on my lap, wrap his arms around my neck and rest his head on my shoulder contentedly.

"Because it's weird that my best friend is sitting on my sister's lap." Yuki calls from the driver's seat. "Has anyone even considered how I feel about all this?" I ask, annoyed that everyone has deemed it unacceptable without asking how I felt.

"Aren't you uncomfortable?" Kyo demanded from the back- Kyo somehow always got banished to the backseat, sometimes by physical force.

"Eh…" I shrug and Haru grins. "She loves me." He says happily, burying his face into my shoulder. Everyone gives us a weird look. "What? He's a cuddly person." I say defensively. Haru nods into my neck.

"He's acting like a toddler." Kyo snorts. "I think it's cute." Tohru says and I laugh. "Thank you Tohru- finally someone doesn't see Haru as a pervert."

"Who said I was a pervert?" Haru raises his head. "No one." Everyone, even Uo, replies promptly. "OK." Haru shrugs, plopping down again.

I don't mind Haru's closeness, even if it is a bit forward, but I know Haru likes to be close to people- not in a perverted sense, only to have that sense of closeness with someone.

I lean my head on top of his, frowning at how Yuki has one hand on the wheel, the other in Tohru's- I bite back the urge to tell him to put both hands on the wheel, refraining only because I'm so happy to see my brother comfortably with such a gesture- two years ago he wouldn't have dreamed of it.

_We've all come pretty far. _I think, glancing over my shoulder at Kyo and Uo, finally quiet for once, since Uo is asleep, her head on Kyo's shoulder. Kyo meets my gaze, gives me a glare, daring me to mock him but I shrug and smile and he rolls his eyes, looking out the window. I can't help but notice him wrap an arm around Uo's shoulder and turn my head back around, closing my eyes as I rest it back on top of Haru's.

_Exactly how it should be. _I think, letting out a quiet sigh, already feeling myself slipping into a contented sleep.

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**Author's Note:**

Yeah it's official. I ruined the ending. *sighs*

I apologize for my failure as a writer.

Anyway, writer angst aside, I hope you guys did like the epilogue- I worked hard, even it you can't notice it *laugh*

Please review! I hope you enjoyed Shinsei Eiki!

May we met again,

LOSGAP =D

3


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